Tyra Banks is a barely functioning retard who can’t string 10 words together and have them be related in any way, but she has amazing tits so everyone puts up with her. Needless to say this makes her an ideal choice to write a series of fantasy books.
The series will follow a teenager who gets into an exclusive modeling academy for “Intoxibellas”. Who are they? Exactly who you thought they were. Models with special powers. Tyra says,
“It’s my novel called Modelland (pronounced “Model Land”) that takes you to a fantastical place you’ve never seen, or heard about, or read about before… Where dreams come true and life can change in the blink of a smoky eye.”
First of all, the fact that this cunt paused to explain that “modelland” is pronounced “model land” is enraging. Of course it’s pronounced “model land”. There’s literally no other way for the words “model” and “land” to be pronounced, regardless of whether or not the person who wrote it had a fucking space bar that worked.
It’s a land of models, and this dimwitted bitch named it “model land”. It would be like if Harry Potter went to “Magicschool”. JK Rowling would go through French gardening books and Greek mythology to find interesting names. “Dumbledore” is an old word for “bumblebee”, for example. Like the books or not, at least Rowling wanted to be creative. But fuck that. Why bother? Just type what something is. That’s just as good. If Tyra wrote Star Wars, “MainCharacter” would fight “HalfRobotMan”. Oohh, weeeee, I’m being whisked away into a world of imagination.
But really that’s a minor point. Because yes. Yes we have seen a place like this before. There are literally dozens of books exactly like it.
“Hey kid, you’re magic.”
“Who me? Oh no sir, there must be a mistake. I’m ordinary.”
200 pages later.
“Hooray! Though I am small and was over matched by a vastly superior foe, my magic has saved the day!”
Thank god no one in this country can read anymore.
…well… I think I need a drink now…
Tony,
Its nice of Brend8n to put up a post at 9:30 EST.
We’re just as good as the day shifters, damnit!!
Knock Knock Housekeeping.
Si senorita Motel Land
Rokan are you related to Slaappy?
Slaappy, Did you see Redrage spewing blasphemy about the Redwings earlier?
Modelland/Fantacyland…….all young models go through that..they are promised the world as long as they put out…specially in Japan, Russia and in the Persian Gulf…..best part…you never hear from most of them…..they are sold into the sex trade……..FUCK YOU Tyra!
Young ladies who read Durden, heed the words of Pepper.
He knows the ugly side of the modeling industry.
He is a hand model for a very well respected firm.
Rokan…I cry each time I think of the day my virginity was taken away by those sand nigg*rs…….all I had to do is ..Walk…walk…turn…smile…
Kinda hard to top Brooklyn Decker in a bikini. In fact, it’s so hard that B4ndon sure as hell didn’t do it with Bootyass Whatsherface.
Goddammit, it sucks to end the day on a downer.
I was 15..they took advantage of my desire to travel and seek new places.
I was young and naive …..*wipes single tear*
If it had only been at the Vatican….I would be a millionaire.
See I was confused. I thought she was saying, we need some “mo dell and” hp computers. Thanks Tyra!
Shiss, I have one word for you…Shssssssssssss!
Rokan, I may be drunk..those fucking 6 beers fucked me up…..not sure if I should be drinking this Peroni…..
GO CELTICS!!!!!!!!!
pepper,
Are you rooting for Boston, because you know if the Cavs get knocked out, LeBron will probably bail and go to the knicks?
Not at all, I hate all NY teams except for the Rangers.
I’m a Boston fan all around.
from what I hear, regardless if they win or lose, he will be in NY…the money will be too much to pass
…noise, noise, noise…
LeBron should go to Dallas.
TITS did you get a lot of Hail?
…we have some kind of freezing precipitation here…
I think it wants to be hail… but it falling way short from what I have seen…