the 2010 mtv music awards

– KRISTEN STEWART just won best girl actor. It’s an insult to all three of those words. She sucks, she cant act for shit, and she’s devoid of any personality or sex appeal. She’s like the androgynous figures you see in a Marilyn Manson video.

– TOM CRUISE just undid 10 years of bad press. He sold the fuck out of that bit, and made it way more entertaining than it should have been.

– I just wish there was more JERSERY SHORE on this show. They should be a part of every show, all the time. I can never get enough.

– No one has ever gone further with less talent and looks than KRISTEN STEWART.

– It looks like KATY PERRY is wearing a sparkly diaper. Her shorts are an inch thick. I hope I don’t get a hard on.

– I find it hard to believe that anyone still considers a SNOOP DOGG cameo in their song to be some kind of draw.

– I fucking hate BETTY WHITE. I don’t get this whole thing at all. She’s not awesome, she’s not cool. She hasn’t died, that’s her biggest accomplishment.

– SANDRA BULLOCK looks fucking terrific. She’s just so pretty.

– I don’t think I can watch that RJ Berger show. The story of a high school kid with a huge cock hits too close to home.

– JACKIE CHANs accent gets worse every year. How is that possible. I’m gonna feel like an asshole if he just has a speech impediment or something.

– I’ve been watching CELITCS-LAKERS. Did Twilight win another 40 awards? Oh don’t tell me, I wanna be surprised!

– CAMERON DIAZ looks like a ventriloquist dummy. God she’s so ugly. I never feel good after I see her in HD.