By brendon September 10, 2010 @ 3:18 PM


Let me get this straight: Jessica Simpson, who has doubled in size since June, pulled her hair back, put on a saggy dress, then looked in a mirror and said, “Nice. Okay. We’re done here, this is it. I’m going to a fashion show, that will be on TV, and have lots of photographers, and I’m going dressed like this. Look out New York, here I come!”

That can’t really be what happened, can it? There’s no fukcing way that happened, right?

(source = splash news online and fame images)

(49) Comments

  1. avatar
    NeoDelRio 09/10/2010 15:20

    i’d still hit it…

  2. avatar
    Gildorg 09/10/2010 15:26

    Ugh, I would have to be a few drinks into it…

    She seriously needs to get back to her “Dukes of Hazard” fighting shape!!!

  3. avatar
    Goat Effer 09/10/2010 15:26

    Is she going for the holstein angus look?

  4. avatar
    MisterD 09/10/2010 15:27

    I bet John Meyer is thankful he got in, got it and got out before she pigged out! He must feel like an ass now- her body is a wonderland like drug? Really- more like it is an amusement park and when your done, you’ll feel like you just walked all over the world and back. This chick is HUGE!

  5. avatar
    Goat Effer 09/10/2010 15:28

    It looks like it was overcast that day but in reality she was just blocking the sun.

  6. avatar
    Olaf Metal 09/10/2010 15:31

    My wife thinks you hate women.. I keep defending you but you just keep doin’ it. Rock On Brother

  7. avatar
    taz 09/10/2010 15:37

    this is bad

  8. avatar
    teutonic 09/10/2010 15:39

    The house of Omar-the-Tent-Maker is well represented at that fashion show.

  9. avatar
    teutonic 09/10/2010 15:40

    I also wonder what a blacksmith charges her for those shoes…

  10. avatar
    Dirty Dirt McGirk 09/10/2010 15:40

    one way to get rid of your butt chin, is to put on about 150 lbs and your face will puff up and the chin ass crack will fill in with face fat.

  11. avatar
    mugg 09/10/2010 15:50

    She’s going for the Snooki look.

  12. avatar
    Dirty Dirt McGirk 09/10/2010 15:54

    here’s an idea, how about instead of having your assistant carry your 100 lbs Louis vetton bag around, you carry that shit yourself and burn off a few calories each day. This is what happens to spoiled, lazy, single bitches when they have too much money and no man to have to worry about looking decent for. I wonder if her father still fucks her now that she’s large, but not in charge?

  13. avatar
    SCUM 09/10/2010 15:59

    She looks like a Manta Ray. I would still let her give me a rim job.

  14. avatar
    rokan 09/10/2010 16:01

    Holy Shit!

    I bet her clam smells like Velveeta.

  15. avatar
    MrAdams 09/10/2010 16:06

    Dang! She’s sure got enough meat on her to keep my balls off of the sheets. She looks like she’d be a wild ride.

  16. avatar
    Gildorg 09/10/2010 16:10

    Mr. Adams.

    As long as you didn’t let her get on top… She might crush you or push you through the Mattress (and not in the good way)…

    At least for big natural titties, someone was nice enough to post a bunch of Carmen (From Webcam Fame) over at XVideos… (something for the pervs in the viewing audience…)

  17. avatar
    rokan 09/10/2010 16:10

    She should turn into one of those girls that shits on you for money.

  18. avatar
    rokan 09/10/2010 16:11

    i mean “sits” on you for money.

    Either way.

  19. avatar
    bwilson27 09/10/2010 16:13


  20. avatar
    MrAdams 09/10/2010 16:13

    You just need to crank the stereo up really loud if you let her sit on your face. Problem solved.

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