Monday afternoon headlines

By brendon November 08, 2010 @ 4:45 PM

– will host the premiere of his new TBS show tonight, and he says one thing to look for on the new show is him forgiving Andy Richter: “Because you know it was him that f—ed up. I was doing fine before he came back.” I also heard that Richter was the Beltway Sniper. (tbs, ew)

LILY ALLEN – suffered a miscarriage last week, and over the weekend she was hospitalized with a blood disease called septicemia, which “accounts for tens of thousands of fatalities per year.” Her life is so tragic all of a sudden, she’s like one of those women in the bible. (la times)

MICHAEL JACKSON - has a new record coming out in December, and the first single was released today. It’s a terrible, terrible song, but it’s Michael Jackson so they’re gonna sell it anyway. In 10 years they’re gonna dig him up, take his femur and play his ribs like a xylophone and call it ALL NEW MICHAEL JACKSON MUSIC!!! (

(22) Comments

  1. avatar
    i hate you 11/08/2010 16:49

    would you fuck lily allen, kim kardashian or courtney love?

  2. avatar
    pepper 11/08/2010 16:56

    TV was so much better with out Conan…….

  3. avatar
    MrAdams 11/08/2010 16:58

    Was the Michael Jackson song his version of “The Sound Of Silence”?

  4. avatar
    pump 11/08/2010 16:59

    Kim kardashian hands down, because she has the bestest boobs you can suffocate yourself in.
    Now let me go to bathroom really quick.

  5. avatar
    i hate you 11/08/2010 17:01

    fuck courtney love or give ryan seacrest a handjob?

  6. avatar
    SCUM 11/08/2010 17:02


  7. avatar
    clownqueef 11/08/2010 17:10

    I just set a timer on my phone to remind myself to DVR Conan’s new show once i get off work. Sad? Pathetic? Well fuck you too.

  8. avatar
    SomeoneluvsU 11/08/2010 17:11

    Doesn’t Nikki owe us all hand jobs?

  9. avatar
    clownqueef 11/08/2010 17:28

    I feel like Ryan Seacrest is undressing my with his eyes.

  10. avatar
    MrAdams 11/08/2010 17:38

    I hear that Lindsay Lohan is going to open her own rehab facility. That sounds like a great idea. It’ll be the hottest rehab in Hollywood, only A-list offenders invited. Please remember to tip your bartenders and waitresses.

  11. avatar
    pepper 11/08/2010 17:39

    I’d rather watch pregnant women…..

  12. avatar
    JUB-JUB 11/08/2010 17:43

    Today is a Monday to forget. Fuck the time change, fuck Kim Kardashian, and fuck the fucking Diaz Brothers!!

  13. avatar
    JUB-JUB 11/08/2010 17:44

    I bury those cocka-roaches

  14. avatar
    clownqueef 11/08/2010 17:49

    I always thought it was “im betta dan dose cocka-roaches”, but yours sounds better.

  15. avatar
    i hate you 11/08/2010 18:11

    seacrest wins.

    do rosie o’donnel with oral foreplay-or- run through tiger exhibit at zoo covered in blood?

  16. avatar
    pepper 11/08/2010 18:23


  17. avatar
    SCUM 11/08/2010 18:57

    You sure seem to like brown people Pepper. WHITE POWER.

  18. avatar
    i hate you 11/08/2010 19:04

    pepper loves brown town and walks on the beaches.

  19. avatar
    Gildorg 11/08/2010 21:46

    Eww… I don’t think I like any of these Choices…

    I am gonna go back and look at Kat, Kates, and Ashley’s Boobies…

    Screw this Monday!

  20. avatar
    zencat002 11/08/2010 23:50

    Kardashian in the ass, Love in the mouth, Allen in the vagina nice and slow

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