morning headlines

By brendon January 21, 2011 @ 10:48 AM

Hilary Duff Leaving Neiman Marcus In Beverly Hills

MEL GIBSON – is facing up to 4 years in jail for hitting his ex. It’s probably a good thing he didn’t know that because if he did I bet he would have hit her even harder. (sun)

AMERICAN IDOL – is down 13 percent in the ratings from one year ago, which was the lowest rated season in the shows history. And this is crazy because everyone loves Jennifer Lopez so much. How could this have gone wrong? It’s a real mindbender. (ew)

TAYLOR SWIFT AND JAKE GYLLENHAAL – dated briefly around Thanksgiving, then broke up, but now may be back together. They might as well be. They’re never gonna find anyone else this bland and boring, so don’t even bother. (people)

KESHA – has said in countless interviews that that she doesn’t know who her father is, but it might her father, whom she had a very cordial relationship with until she was 19, but then stared telling people she doesn’t know who her father is. Just once it would be nice to find a girl who wasn’t completely fucking nuts. (star)

HILARY DUFF – is pregnant according to Star, but not pregnant according to Hilary Duff. So either Star is lying, or she’s lying, or she wanted to wait and tell me our big news in person. (star, twitter)

(28) Comments

  1. avatar
    uknowwhere2findme 01/21/2011 11:02

    Mel ,….next time do a Hit and run….they only get a suspended license or 6 months in jail with a 1000 dollar fine….much cheaper…..

  2. avatar
    uknowwhere2findme 01/21/2011 11:03

    Looks like Brenda is blowing her load early today.

  3. avatar
    Tweets that mention morning headlines - What Would Tyler Durden Do -- 01/21/2011 11:08

    [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by ranj atkar, ranj atkar, Tracy Jordan, Mr Impulsive, Michael and others. Michael said: morning headlines: MEL GIBSON – is facing up to 4 years in jail for hitting his ex. I bet if he knew that he wo… [...]

  4. avatar
    Gildorg 01/21/2011 11:12

    Geez! Pepper! You let the Spammers in!

    What a bunch of shit… Was it ever even proven that he hit that lying russian bitch? I hope he gets out of all charges without doing a damn day!

  5. avatar
    rokan 01/21/2011 11:12

    I didn’t know you could get pregnant from a blow job.

    Pepper, is there no end to your lies?

    Next you’ll tell me i can’t pee in a girl’s clam after sex.

  6. avatar
    MrAdams 01/21/2011 11:17

    Hillary Duff looks a bit like Carrot Top, don’t you think?

  7. avatar
    uknowwhere2findme 01/21/2011 11:18

    I had no idea puppets can make a comment at the same time…l usually get hit with
    “slow down….you’re posting to fast”

  8. avatar
    Gildorg 01/21/2011 11:21

    Oh By The Way, MrAdams!!!

    Nice quote from Old School yesterday! Points for you, Sir!

    Is it too early to have a drink?

    Things that make you go, hmmm…

  9. avatar
    uknowwhere2findme 01/21/2011 11:27


  10. avatar
    Reeses Feces 01/21/2011 11:27

    There’s a real fascination with carrot top lately.

  11. avatar
    SomeoneluvsU 01/21/2011 11:27

    Hollywood …4 years in jail = 27 minutes (with 15 off for good behavior)

  12. avatar
    rokan 01/21/2011 11:32


  13. avatar
    Gildorg 01/21/2011 11:33

    on a Stick…

  14. avatar
    uknowwhere2findme 01/21/2011 12:05

    Rokan…you need to get all your puppets up and running…this place is D.O.A………

  15. avatar
    Chicagoaniml 01/21/2011 12:30

    Thanks for the gossip. This is SUPER news!

    Yes, props to the Old School line also. I forgot about it as it got lost when another gossip post was added right away.

  16. avatar
    Correction Chimp 01/21/2011 12:33

    So, what’s everybody having for lunch?

    I think I’m gonna have a banana, myself.

  17. avatar
    Sensei John Kreese 01/21/2011 12:41


    You can’t get pregnant from bum sex either.

    Just FYI.

  18. avatar
    rokan 01/21/2011 12:51


    No one’s listening to you.

    Bring back Mr.Pickles.

    That is all

  19. avatar
    uknowwhere2findme 01/21/2011 12:56

    Rokan….I think the same goes to you and your puppets……why don’t you bring out Mr.Pickles…’s been a while…NO?

  20. avatar
    rokan 01/21/2011 12:59


    Did you hit your head again?

    The only puppet I ever had was Lana8

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