Lady Gaga is probably in perfect health

July 7, 2011 | Uncategorized | editor | 0 Comments

The bad news for Lady Gaga is that celebrity journalist Ian Halperin has revealed that her lupus is much more serious than she has revealed, and it’s causing her hair to fall out. Not only that, but she’s an anorexic drug addict too.

The good news for Lady Gaga is that celebrity journalist Ian Halperin never has any idea what the fuck he’s talking about.

Lady Gaga has been branded ‘sick’ and ‘obsessed’ in an explosive new tell-all which documents her alleged drug abuse and dangerous diet.
In a revealing interview with Star Magazine, investigative journalist Ian Halperin has made startling allegations about the wacky performer, insisting she is a walking time bomb.
“Those who have worked with her on tour reported to me that Gaga barely ate for weeks at a time to fit into her costume,” said Halperin, who has spent 12 months investigating Gaga for his book.
“She is sick and obsessed with her weight. One friend told me, Gaga will stare at herself in the mirror for hours on end, analyzing and critiquing her body. It’s an unhealthy obsession.”

I’ve mentioned this before, but the only reason Halperin is famous is because he said Michael Jackson had six months to live six months before he died. The part that Halperin now leaves out is that he said Michael was dying because he had an incurable disease that attacks the lungs and liver. He was the only person on earth who didn’t predict Michael overdosing, which of course is what eventually happened. Page 10 of Michaels autopsy makes no mention of any disease of the lungs. Page 11 makes no mention of any disease of the liver.

In an article for the Daily Mail, Halperin said Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitts divorce was a done deal and they would announce it soon. That was 18 months ago.

On Opie and Anthony, he confirmed the existence of a Tiger Woods sex tape. That was 19 months ago.

In April of 2010, he said there was a Sandra Bullock sex tape with Jesse James, which “includes James smearing feces on Bullock’s upper lip during various types of anal sex, lots of profanity hurled from both parties, and a leather clad James, sporting a Hitler moustache with brown hat with a swastika, ramming a handcuffed Bullock’s asshole with a shotgun in his left hand.”

You may notice none of these things have happened. That’s not coincidence. I would trust what a ouija board had to say about Lady Gaga before I would anything from this dork.

Tags: lady gaga ian halperin

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