J-Woww Gets $10K a Head to Herd Her Cattle to Vegas

By Bill February 25, 2013 @ 3:58 PM


Still finding it weird that we live in a country where oral sex is outlawed in numerous states, but the worst of the worst media content can be distributed to 90 million homes by MTV and shows like Jersey Shore which popularize the things many of us have done before, but the kind of shit we don’t usually talk about the day after, save for copping to a buddy, or explaining our way out of a drunk and disorderly arrest. If you’re over 19, there’s no reason to be watching this shit, let alone be part of the future culled herd who post about their ‘rage party’ antics on Facebook.

But, Jersey Shore did give us tits. Giant, obscene, fake Italian-American tits on Jenni Farley, whose J-Woww nickname I’m sure will bring about a cute story from Jenni, but I’m guessing is more likely based in an incident with a portion of the offensive line of her high school football team, the bleachers, and tricks Jenni could perform with a standard issue kicking tee. Either way, the girl succeeded, and still does Charlie Sheen win-it by getting paid even to this day to flash her fake cans at Las Vegas club events. I’m not exactly sure why seeing J-Woww’s air-pumped hooters would get you in the mindset that this is the Vegas club where you’re going to get laid, the only real reason to pay $20 for a drink at a Vegas club, but it’s working for some people, because Vegas clubs do their homework.

Photo credit: FameFlynet

wwtdd

(22) Comments

  1. avatar
    Just the Tip 02/25/2013 16:00

    They’re tearing away from her body!

    SIGH… American Made just ain’t what it used to be I guess.

  2. avatar
  3. avatar
    Just the Tip 02/25/2013 16:06

    Is that homework?!?! You’re assigning a Writing Lesson on here?! Seriously?

  4. avatar
    Direman 02/25/2013 16:07

    “Still finding it weird that we live in a country where oral sex is outlawed in numerous states, but the worst of the worst media content can be distributed to 90 million homes by MTV and shows like Jersey Shore which popularize the things many of us have done before, but the kind of shit we don’t usually talk about the day after, save for copping to a buddy, or explaining our way out of a drunk and disorderly arrest.”

    That was one sentence…

  5. avatar
    styckx 02/25/2013 16:10

    Another wall of text of useless drivel..

  6. avatar
    Just the Tip 02/25/2013 16:15

    Huge fake tits pictured in a small dress (is that a dress..?.. what the hell IS that? Are those shorts?) and you people are READING the article?

    …I mean, yeah… yeah… me too. I always only read the articles.

  7. avatar
    pissedoff 02/25/2013 16:16

    Jesus Christ! Learn English motherfucker. This is ridiculous. Much like Kramer, I’m out.

  8. avatar
    Lick-it 02/25/2013 16:21

    “Brevity is the soul of wit”

    ….some fucking Limey…..

  9. avatar
    Just the Tip 02/25/2013 16:22

    ^^^^

    Those guys are starting to sound like potential puppets…

    PEPPER! Is that you?!?!

  10. avatar
    raiderreggid 02/25/2013 16:27

    Hint to the new writers on this site: Merely being foul-mouthed and insulting is not the same as being funny. If it were, we could just repeatedly point out that all you new bloggers are talentless douchebags. Wait — what?

  11. avatar
    bored12 02/25/2013 16:28

    I am not quite sure who wrote this. Was it:
    1) someone currently attending middle school or;
    2) Someone that did not quite make it to high school?

    This is just painful and insulting to read.

  12. avatar
    Rage 02/25/2013 16:37

    What the fuck does that headline even mean?

    Let me read the “article” and see if I’m just missing some clever joke.

    And what do you know, the “article” doesn’t even explain the headline or mention $10,000.

    TAKE A FUCKING JOURNALISM 101 CLASS YOU FUCKING WASTE OF HUMAN SKIN!

  13. avatar
    Lick-it 02/25/2013 16:43

    Pepper is not here man……

    …neither is Dave……

    No one has seen Peepers since Fashion Week started……

  14. avatar
    thejyav 02/25/2013 16:53

    To whom it may concern, please accept this writing sample as consideration for a position with your company
    Headline: Stupid Big Tits!
    Hey look at her and her big tits! But she is stupid and dumb and not smart so fucking laugh at her but look at her big fucking tits! She is a terrible person because she is famous but dumb and on a dumb show I don’t like but atleast she has big fucking tits.

  15. avatar
    MacDaddy 02/25/2013 17:08

    Being from the Jersey Shore, I have seen this slut and her Douchbag/whore castmates more than I’d care to admit.

    And she is one UGLY fucking skank in person.

    Granted she does look hot in “night-club lights” when you’re 3 Jack-n-cokes in. But other than that she’s a train wreck in normal light!

    DO NOT want!

  16. avatar
    deliminator 02/25/2013 17:29

    Is this “Bill” the same “Bill” from Egotastic?

    If it is, please just go back there, where there’s no text or joke requirements.

  17. avatar
    Squabbler 02/25/2013 17:42

    Periods, motherfucker! Do you know how to use them???

  18. avatar
    Geor 02/25/2013 19:14

    You mean to tell me them titties isn’t real? Worst news of the year.

  19. avatar
    dotdfan 02/25/2013 21:05

    “Still finding it weird that we live in a country where oral sex is outlawed in numerous states, but the worst of the worst media content can be distributed to 90 million homes by MTV and shows like Jersey Shore which popularize the things many of us have done before, but the kind of shit we don’t usually talk about the day after, save for copping to a buddy, or explaining our way out of a drunk and disorderly arrest.”

    That’s an 81 word, 420 character sentence. Seriously, what the fuck?

  20. avatar
    lat1008 02/25/2013 23:11

    Damn! She’s like what mid-twenties? She looks like a 45 year old used up hooker.

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