Girls like Aly Michalka may be a dime a dozen in glamorous big cities, but I don't live in such a gleaming metropolis. I live in a much, much, more dark and depressing place where women have "morals" or draw attention to themselves by screaming and kicking when you try to drag them into your car. Which is why it is perfect that Aly likes to vacation in the middle of the woods. Jobs already done.
(Editor's note: fuck ^^^ that's pretty creepy)