Women Like Big Dicks, So Says Science

It turns out that the ladies really do prefer a guy with a bigger schlong. A study released in the journal of Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, (yes, PNAS, great football school), said that after showing female subjects pictures of naked dudes of different heights and weights with varying wiener lengths, the ladies found the guys that had bigger dongs more attractive. On average the ladies liked a Johnson to be at least three inches flaccid. This contradicts centuries of lies women have told men that “Size doesn’t matter” and “It’s not the size of the boat it’s the motion of the ocean.” Science calls bullshit!

As we suspected all along, the more cunning gender were just saying that to make tiny dicked boyfriends and husbands feel better. We instinctively know that big dicks are what women want, it just makes sense. Maybe not a John Holmes-style fleshy home pap smear sized dong but certainly an ample amount of man meat. Those ‘grow a bigger dick’ ads all over the Internet aren’t there because they’re not getting clicked on. According to psychiatrists going back to Freud, all men have anxiety that their winkies aren’t long enough. But it’s easy to dismiss fancy pants European shrinks and their dissertations. Less easy to ignore PNAS and their show-ladies-a-bunch-of-dicks-and-see-who-they-drool-over study. If you’re a small man, you just might be fucked. Or, according to PNAS, not.