Avril Lavigne Marries Chad Kroeger on a Boat in France

By Lex July 09, 2013 @ 5:33 PM

Avril Lavigne And Chad Kroeger Get Married And Get On A Yacht In France
There’s some arcane Canadian law that requires Avril Lavigne to marry only other Canadian singers I can’t fucking stand. I think she gets a tax break or free smokes or something. She went with Nickelback’s Chad Kroeger. I was rooting for K.D. Lang. At least going lesbian would’ve made her interesting. When I think about the merging of these two musical maestros in holy matrimony, mostly I want to press my ears shut and mutter nonsensical words aloud to block out the horrid. Maybe their yacht will sink.

Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin

(4) Comments

  1. avatar
    Beylerbey 07/09/2013 17:38

    That’s going to be a shockingly banal, talentless child. Like Sean Lennon without all the talent.

    And no, being lesbian doesn’t make you interesting anymore.

  2. avatar
    Cybergy 07/09/2013 20:21

    Instead you chose to “mutter” nonsensical words in this post Lex. For the love of God just end it.

  3. avatar
    Admiral 07/10/2013 10:16

    They both look perpetually confused.

  4. avatar
    Admiral 07/10/2013 10:17

    Which is probably what happens when you take too much MDMA.

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