There’s some arcane Canadian law that requires Avril Lavigne to marry only other Canadian singers I can’t fucking stand. I think she gets a tax break or free smokes or something. She went with Nickelback’s Chad Kroeger. I was rooting for K.D. Lang. At least going lesbian would’ve made her interesting. When I think about the merging of these two musical maestros in holy matrimony, mostly I want to press my ears shut and mutter nonsensical words aloud to block out the horrid. Maybe their yacht will sink.
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