Amputee Athlete Reunited With Stolen Wheelchair

By Michael August 13, 2013 @ 2:10 PM

I told you yesterday about an evil bag of dicks who stole the custom wheelchair of world class handicapped swimmer Philippe Croizon. Today a truck driver found the all-terrain wheelchair in an car park after the shitdick that stole it realized that police were on the lookout for it. Philippe Croizon is the first quadruple amputee to swim the English Channel, which is pretty amazing for a guy who has no limbs and is also French. This kind of thing is what happens in a country full of ennui and existential despair like France. “Why should I not, how you say, steal a wheelchair? Life has no meaning. Pass me a cock and some cigarettes. At least he got it back. There is nothing sadder than a swimmer slithering through the French countryside on his belly looking for his stolen ride.

(6) Comments

  1. avatar
    teutonic 08/13/2013 14:17

    You would think if a guy was going to swim the English Channel he’d lock his wheelchair to a post before setting off.

  2. avatar
    snoodz 08/13/2013 14:22

    I bet he’s really pissed that people keep referring to it as the english channel. The frenchies hate that :) They use some french name for it.

  3. avatar
    Shortshanks 08/13/2013 14:56


    ….what’s the French Term for the English Channel…??

    ..le Pisseur?

    ……….or Le no-escape?

  4. avatar
    The Mildly Tanned Knight 08/13/2013 19:48

    I’m pretty sure it’s “La surrendure…..”

  5. avatar
    Aze 08/14/2013 06:13

    Haha, the jokes about French people being cowards, always the best. However, though we might not be taking out our big guns at the first occasion, we do know a few thinks about geography.
    Btw, the French name for the English Channel is La Mer Manche (Manche Sea for you americans)

  6. avatar
    Shortshanks 08/14/2013 08:28


    ….how does one pronounce “Vichy Government”?

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