Brian Boitano Is Gay? Who the Fuck Is Left?

By Michael December 20, 2013 @ 1:30 PM

Brian Boitano came out of the closet yesterday, shocking old school sports fans who saw male figure skating as the last bastion of heterosexuality. I guess after 25 years of everyone knowing that he was super duper gay, Brian felt it was time to declare his sexuality for the last person in the world who might give a shit. His announcement is timed with his selection to three person team, along with Billy Jean King and Caitlin Cahow, sent by Obama to Russia as the U.S. delegation for gayness ahead of the Sochi Olympics. The 2014 winter games in Russia have been beset with controversy surrounding Russian president Vladimir Putin’s continuing suppression of gay and lesbian rights in the former Soviet empire. Our delegation is chock full of gender bending lovers as a notice to Russia that we beat them at nukes, and we will kick their ass in the gay arms race as well. Rim a commie for mommy.

(4) Comments

  1. avatar
    LoK 12/20/2013 15:53

    Brian’s cousin was my freshman year science teacher and he was arrested for flashing middle school girls from his balcony, which was on the way to the middle school

  2. avatar
    Maybe_Observer 12/20/2013 18:26

    This guy was in the closet???

    Who knew?

  3. avatar
    BillyMitchellisaGoldenGod 12/21/2013 09:36

    LOK at least it was girls, amirite?

  4. avatar
    BillyMitchellisaGoldenGod 12/21/2013 09:38

    LOK at least it was girls, amirite?

    By the way this is already looking like the worst Olympics (not saying much for the winter olympics) with America ass raping Russians because they don’t think like a small portion of Americans.

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