Jennifer Lawrence was visiting Conan O’Brien and told him if she hadn’t been an actress, she would’ve liked to be a hotel maid because she likes to clean and snoop through people’s shit. She then told the tale about how recently she was given an assortment of butt plugs “as a joke” and hid them under her hotel bed. When she returned the maid had thoughtfully arranged them in a display on her night table. Ah, the old ‘gag gift’ excuse that people have been employing since the first wife ever found Ben Wa balls in her husbands sock drawer. Mostly Jennifer’s story has me once again imagining the actual horror of being a hotel maid and the shit you must find when cleaning those rooms. Yep, most of those nasty porn clips you’re watching for free online were shot in a hotel room somewhere. That BBW MILF taking a train of college studs was probably shot at the Holiday Inn you might be staying in for Christmas. Don’t be surprised to find a pair of oversized panties stuffed behind the headboard. And that’s what people are doing when there’s a camera on them. Imagine what guests are doing in the privacy of their own travel abodes. Sure, occasionally you’ll get Oscar winning actress butt plugs. But that’s like pulling a winning Lotto ticket. The rest of the time it’s spooge stained towels by way of Joel from Akron. Somebody’s got to refold that towel and put it back in the rack for the next guy to wipe his face with.
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