Instant Retraction: Carl’s Jr. Burgers Are Fucking Awesome

By Lex February 27, 2014 @ 5:55 PM


Five seconds ago I made an off-the-cuff and not entirely complimentary remark about Carl’s Jr. burgers. Since that time I’ve come to realize that their burgers are totally fucking awesome and that they might be on our list of intended advertising targets. Not that one has to do with the other. But just look at the goddamn burger photo that pops up when you Google Carl’s Jr. burgers. Don’t tell me you aren’t thinking about getting wicked high and shoving that beast into your gullet at three in the morning. Yeah, boy. Even those fried pieces of intestine from sheep slaughtered after the Fukushima meltdown look like edible strips of heaven. In fact, go buy ten of these burgers now. Tell them heavy on the cheese, but light on whatever you call that nasty stuff you get because the dude in the back didn’t lave his manos in accordance with posted signage. I think we’re good now.

wwtdd

(4) Comments

  1. dylujenaw 02/27/2014 18:22

    I buy almost everything except food and clothing from online auctions most people aren’t aware of the almost unbelievable deals that they can get from online auction sites the site that has the best deals is http://goo.gl/Pt036z

    I checked with the BBB and was told that it is all legit. How they can sell gift cards, laptops, cameras, and all kinds of goodies that we all want for 50-90% off, I don’t know
    I do know that I bought my son an ipad there for less than $100 and my husband a $250 Low gift

    cards for 48Why would I even think about shopping anyþlace else?

  2. aandm12 02/27/2014 19:25

    Ahhh….RELAX! Ad agencies for fast food have a HUGE sense of humor! What should be funny is the conversation you guys have when they wonder why they should pay you to advertise wen you do it for free every time they do another ad with a hot model…

    Maybe you guys should go after the Jack in the Box Midnight Munchie Box…Good for after a night out…and this time I don’t mean one of Carl’s models….

  3. Admiral 02/27/2014 19:46

    I just learned today that your daily calorie intake per day should be 10x your body weight. I’m 145 so I should take in 1,450 calories to maintain my weight, essentially.

    One of those burgers constitutes probably 75% of my daily intake of calories, which is good! I’m trying to get it down to one meal per day because who’s got time to eat? The world moves fast, my friends – you won’t be able to keep up if you can’t function while hungry.

  4. veronica 03/02/2014 20:31

    You guys are idiots, and Carl Jr’s can suck a dick.

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