Amped Up White People Need to Stop Climbing Mount Everest

George Leigh Mallory was the first prep school dick from England to be famous for trying to climb Mount Everest. He’s the guy who when asked in the 1920’s why he wanted to climb the mountain, he said ‘because it’s there’. Then he asked a bunch of rich socialites in New York to give him some cash so he and his Cambridge rowing buddy could go climb Everest. This was after his first expedition where seven Sherpa were killed in an avalanche. Sherpa are the alpine grunts of Nepal who economically depend on rich white tourists coming to climb their big fucking mountain. If they lived in Acapulco, they’d be serving sunburned white people cocktails with umbrellas and providing cocaine and prostitute hookups. But they got stuck in Tibet, so they need to go hang ropes at 25,000 feet and test the trails as human avalanche bait. Now another twelve or more Sherpa have died in an avalanche preparing for Spring climbing season when ambitious dicks with a need to take epic selfies come by the thousands to scale the peak. Twelve is officially the record in one fell swoop, although who knows how many countless Sherpa have died in the past hundred years carrying protein bars and Vitamin water for the adventuresome tourists. At least George Leigh Mallory had the decency to perish on his last climb up the mountain. They found his frozen body seventy years later. None of the North Face clad Western climbers took a scratch from this latest avalanche. It sucks to be born Sherpa.

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