The Ultimate Warrior Is Dead

April 9, 2014 | celebrity | editor | 0 Comments

The Ultimate Warrior, James Brian Hellwig, has returned to “Parts Unknown”. That means he’s dead. The 54 year old wrestling legend was found dead yesterday outside of an Arizona hotel. The cause of death has not been released. This comes just days after he was inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame. What’s really fucking creepy is that he kinda sorta anticipated his death when he said in his acceptance speech,

“Every man’s heart one day beats its final beat. His lungs breathe their final breath. And if what that man did in his life makes the blood pulse through the body of others and makes them believe deeper in something that’s larger than life, then his essence, his spirit, will be immortalized by the storytellers.”

For those of us wrestling dorks that grew up in the 80’s and 90’s, the Ultimate Warrior was one of the best around. I liked it whenever he would kick Hulk Hogan’s ass because that prematurely bald blondie always got on my fucking nerves. Sure, this type of wrestling is fake as shit. That doesn’t mean it isn’t physically mesmerizing and highly entertaining. Porn isn’t real lovemaking it turns out. I still enjoy that from time to time. So, long brave Warrior. I hope your tag teaming with Bam Bam Bigelow against Andre the Giant and the Macho Man up in heaven. Which for the record is an easier venue to get to than the Hartford Civic Center.

(Photo Via

Tags: the ultimate warrior