Adam Levine Gets Married (Fuck Yeah, Tool) And Shit Around The Web

By Jack July 21, 2014 @ 1:14 PM

Adam-Levin-and-Behati-Prinsloo

Adam Levine somehow managed to land himself a Victoria’s Secret model wife. It reminds me of a little piece of advice my grandfather gave me when I asked him why girls didn’t want to date sweet lovable guys like me, “Mijo, chicks are fucking crazy and they love assholes”.

Read all about the fucktard and his Namibian princess bride. (Dlisted)

Lea Michele may be a killer shrew, but she wears a bikini well, damn her. (Drunken Stepfather)

Selena Gomez wears one of your grandma’s doilies and still gives you a hard-on. (Huffington Post)

Casey Kasem’s mummified corpse has gone missing. (The Superficial)

Emily Ratajkowski is practically swimming out of this bikini. (The Chive)

Homunculus ‘roidhead The Rock is going to render unto us Shazam. (io9)

Former Miss Universe Olivia Culpo remains super fucking hot.(TMZ)

wwtdd

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