America Importing Ebola, Fuck Yeah

As if we couldn’t get more bad ass, or really fucking stupid, as a country. Now we’re inviting Ebola into our country. I couldn’t get  a visa for my potential future wife in from Kurdistan because she had a bear claw for a hand she lost in an industrial accident as a child, but somehow active live Ebola is not an immediate disqualification for customs process into the U.S. Most people run from Ebola, you know, because it makes you bleed to death through your eyes. Not America. Bring it on.

Many people question the wisdom of the CDC in allowing two infected patients onto U.S. soil, you know, because that’s basically how every horrible epidemic hot zone movie ever starts:

[The two Ebola patients] will be sealed off from anyone who isn’t wearing protective gear. Dr. Bruce Ribner, who will be treating them, said their families can speak with them through a plate-glass window.

Well, plate glass window seems safe enough to me. I don’t even really know what plate-glass means as opposed to just regular old glass, but I feel like it’s a strong enough measure to prevent 80% of us from perishing horribly in a pool of our own bubbly hemoglobin. Four thousand miles of open ocean waters seemed like a superior natural barrier, but I’m sure if I Google plate-glass I’ll see that I’m wrong. Goodbye, Dominos and porn. You really were my favorites.