New Cell Phones Pushing Selfie Technology

New phones soon to hit the market are promoting selfie friendly technology, with dramatic enhancements to the previously unimportant front facing camera. Samsung’s new Galaxy Note comes with a feature called “Wide Selfie” for the fatter faced Kardashians. Microsoft’s new Nokia phone is being marketed as “Built for selfies and Skype” and comes with an app called “Lumina Selfie” which lets narcissistic users edit the pockmarks and Chalupa grease off their faces.

It seems only yesterday smart phones were being marketed with revolutionary features like GPS, now this technology is folding in on itself to promote vanity and self indulgence. There has always been more money in the deadly sins. Apple could soon be marketing a version of Siri which is programmed to give a variety of compliments when asked questions such as “Does my herpes sore make me look more mature?” For all the inherent stupidity, it really was much easier to mock selfies before Kate Upton and Jennifer Lawrence started flashing their bare tits on iPhones. It’s as if hipster hats were discovered to be the cure for cancer. You have to learn to let go of the hate so that others could live.