Penn State Nearing Image Makeover

September 3, 2014 | WTF | matt-ralston | 0 Comments

Sneazy the Squirrel is a craze on Penn State’s campus. Sneazy is a real squirrel who is regularly dressed up in outfits by Mary Krupa, who has been dubbed the Squirrel Whisperer and clearly has a killer campus social life. Krupa wrote a first person bio of Sneazy on her Facebook page, which indicates she should probably be banned from the clock tower:

“This year, I met a special person who brings me tasty food almost every day. She proposed a business deal: I’d wear tiny hats and allow myself to be petted, and she’d pay me in nuts. I just love nuts, and because I am a friendly squirrel, I agreed. People sure do look surprised when they see me in a hat, but it usually makes them very happy!”

Sneazy’s Facebook page has over 21,00o likes and is quickly becoming PSU’s de facto mascot. This might be a good thing considering when most people see the Nittany Lion their first thought is to rescue young boys from the shower. Kobe Bryant changed his uniform number after he not criminally butt raped the concierge in Colorado. Sneazy is exactly the kind of thing Penn State needs to clear the air. Nothing says I promise not to ass rape your sons like a feral rodent costumed by a creepy misfit.

Photo Credit: Facebook