Rob Gronkowski Probably Wants His Signature Back

What could possibly go wrong? That’s a question people really don’t ask themselves nearly enough. Old school companies hiring social media dipshits to get them into that Facebook and Twitter thing leave themselves particularly exposed to lack of foresight. Like whoever set up this New England Patriots Twitter promotion for being their one-millionth follower. Any Twitter handle that sent out their OneMillionPatriots hashtag got an automated retweet and a doctored photos with their handle name on the back of a Patriots Jersey and a big thank you from Rob Gronkowski. I’m in the middling intelligence range on a good day and I could see the potential flaw in this setup. I was thinking @MyCunnyTingles but some other genius with more malicious intent came up with @IHATEN1GGERS which was retweeted from the Patriots. I’m pretty sure that’s a number 1 instead of the capital letter I which fooled the simpleton bad words auto censor.

I’m not saying the Patriots should abandon their attempts to be hip and modern or to solicit interest from the kind of people who cream their Boston denim skorts from receiving a retweet. There are tons of kids graduating colleges today without any real job prospect. This fake work category of social media producer has created thousands of jobs for 20-somethings with dubious degrees and the sole skill of being active Facebook users. Still, whoever ran this one needs a swift kick in the shins and a job application for Denny’s swing shift server. Let just cut to the chase.