Chloe Goins Bra Ready to Convict Bill Cosby

Chloe Goins insists Bill Cosby CosRaped her at a party at the Playboy Mansion in 2008. Technically she claims she was drugged and woke up in a room with her tits wet with his saliva and Cosby sucking on her toes and masturbating. Which is like rape, but decidedly worse when depicting via a doll in court. She and her attorney somehow ran into a whole bunch of media outside LAPD headquarters today as she hurried in to file charges against the comedian slash worst bartender ever. Naturally, she wanted to wait seven years to make sure the spittle had completely dried. Unfortunately, the statute of limitations on sexual assault by way of drooling like Wile E. Coyote is six years. She really could have walked there on a handstand from the Playboy mansion and made it in just a couple of months. The most important thing really is Goins looked fantastic. Give her a reality show and we can all move on.

Photo Credit: Splash