Get Baked And Drive Around

A new study commissioned by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration confirms that getting high and driving is pretty harmless, especially when compared to relatively more dangerous factors such as being a shitty driver, or a woman, or old, or an old shitty woman driver. Hi, Bruce Jenner. The study followed 9,000 drivers and found being high on marijuana did not make drivers more likely to crash into a Jack in the Box. People who smoke weed are still more likely to get into accidents because they’re in the demo of young and dumb and frequently get road head, but being high on weed was not seen as an independently contributing factor. Do a few gravity bong hits and take a spin to your local Chipotle on a road you’re convinced is the set of Blade Runner. Your life is likely a total train wreck, but not a car wreck. Get it? Fuck you. Keep puffing.