Valentines Day Just Got Weird

If you’re unsure what to get your significant other for Valentine’s Day I’d strike up a gentlemen’s agreement and cancel out your pointless consumerism. Failing that just take the cash you would have wasted on roses and cardboard and get a nice bottle of scotch or strawberry vodka and fucking get each other off already. What is this dog and pony show bullshit? If your relationships finds itself too entrenched in the social construct for either of these, order a box of chocolate buttholes from EdibleAnus.com. I’m not sure of the implication but at the very least it will be a solid Fuck You to the whole process. Or it could take your relationship to new heights and lengths. After your special night you may even find yourselves playing a board game or building a snowman instead of rushing to Macy’s to exchange some shit. These people are heroes. Utterly disgusting heroes.

Photo Credit: EdibleAnus.com