This Shit Will Kill You

Thirty one different brands of wine were tested and found to contain high levels of arsenic. All of the wines are under ten dollars and the list includes Trader Joe’s Two Buck Chuck, Franzia, and other homeless person favorites. Acceptable levels of arsenic for drinking water are set at 10 parts per billion and these wines contain twice that and also won’t get you laid. Four people who drink a shitload of cheap wine tested them independently and have filed a lawsuit asking the wine makers in question to halt production. Unfortunately there are no guidelines for arsenic in wine so there’s nothing they can do about it except stop voluntarily poisoning themselves but I don’t see that happening. You may want to avoid drugstore end cap display wine. Aside from the poison it’s relatively disgusting. Set higher bars for yourself. You’re never going to get out of that apartment at this rate. They haven’t done the tests but I’d only assume Natural Ice and most malt liquors are laden with nuclear waste from the Japanese tsunami. I know what you’re thinking. Step it up Chadwick.

Photo Credit: Cnbc.com