Ahmad Got Balls

It takes some kind of frontier spirit to be the Middle Eastern dude in your Washington State high school and show up in the cafeteria with a prank suicide bomb strapped around your waist. The sum of all fears. Fuck, Ibrahim’s claiming his virgins, I’ll miss my limbs. I love you mom. La Center High student Ibrahim Ahmad thought it’d be amusing to ask a chick to the prom in front of the whole cafeteria while wearing a belt of fake dynamite and a sign that read:

I kno it’s late, but I’m kinda the bomb, Rilea will u be my date to the prom?

The misspellings don’t mean Ibrahim is stupid, just fully immersed in the hip illiteracy of teen America. Rilea would be the lucky girl who won the heart of the Arab dude with very little self-awareness. Ahmad tried to put some context behind his prank:

Being a Middle Eastern child, you’re growing up with all these bomb jokes. It’s kind of like it’s always a thing that’s there but … the people that were there, they understood the situation.

Wait, what kind of bomb jokes and to what address should we send the FBI to ask a couple quick followups? Ahmad was suspended for five days which he felt was super harsh considering all he did was jokingly pretend to kill a thousand infidels in their dens of heresy. The suspension carries through the prom which means he and his new date can’t even attend. They’ve instead decided to get dressed up and go to dinner and a movie, where Ahmad will scream ‘The exits are locked! Allahu Akbar. We’re all going to die!’ because he’s not done yet with his zany icebreakers.

Photo credit: ABC News