Coachella Banning Selfie-Sticks

Coachella and Lollapalooza and other music festivals have started outlawing selfie-sticks at their venues because they remind concert-goers that they just paid three hundred bucks to be squeezed next to 20,000 dicks they can’t stand on Facebook. While the phenomenon of millennials self-publishing pictures of their gaping maws continues to skyrocket, doing so from a better shooting angle is now considered too much. The wider angle actually allows these Kardashian generation pumpkin heads to bring friends into their pictures, which you might argue is slightly less offensive. When I see one of these group photos, I think, well, these kids aren’t future doctors, but at least they’re not going to be shooting up their schools. Nobody shares this with you in kindergarten, but the world needs attention whores just as much as doctors. Perhaps even more. Next time you see your doctor, see if he’ll fuck you just for telling him how hot his dipped hair looks.

Photo credit: Getty Images