Humility

I don’t cry much. After sex, mostly because it keeps the girls from trying to work me over on price. But when this Baltimore kid whose mom beat his ass on national television for rioting thanked his mom for caring, open the fucking flood gates. There’s nothing more beautiful than a kid who knows he needed a beatdown getting one. It’s cosmic justice in the world’s most expeditious court proceeding. Whap whap. There, now everyone feels better. Let’s get jobs and join the Boy’s Club.

“All my friends know my mother. Every time they see her they’re like, ‘Toya coming.’ Oh, yeah she’s coming. Everybody better get straight.”

Fuck yeah. Not all kids need a beating, just most. Imagine a world where not everyone thinks they deserve to be heard just for being born. Now take that feeling and go whack the crap out of a youngster in need. Men used to die young, but proud. This mom should’ve been our first black President. Oh, no you don’t, Iran. I will whoop your ass. Fire the cruise missiles. No bullshit. Mother knows best.