Iran Bans Gay Devil Hair

It’s not a good sign when your government is throwing shade at your hairstyle. Iran formally banned “Homosexual” and “Devil Worshiping” hairstyles and anything else resembling what they witness while watching gay porn for research purposes. In 2010 Iran banned ponytails and mullets but the newest law is aimed at spiky hair because that’s one of Iran’s biggest problems along with masking their nuclear weapons program and mass executions. The head of Iran’s Barber Union who I would only assume wears heavily decorated military attire issued a statement:

“Devil-worshipping hairstyles are forbidden. Any shop that cuts hair in the devil worshipping style will be harshly dealt with and their license revoked. Tattoos, solarium treatments and plucking eyebrows [for men] are also forbidden.”

Wow. So Persian chicks can pluck their eyebrows? Please issue a fatwa or some shit to get that grooming ball rolling. Iran is also cracking down on the size of tits on their storefront mannequins. If you needed any proof the old guard is out of touch and destined to be overthrown this is your golden ticket. Ten years from now the millennials will be butt fucking on the balconies of Tehran in celebration of installing president Zoolander. Viva La Rasa.

Photo Credit: Instagram