Breastfeeding Remains Super Natural

There’s only one reason to post a photo of yourself breastfeeding two big ass boys simultaneously, one of whom is decidedly not even you own child. To get people to write deleterious comments about breastfeeding so you can cry ‘shaming’. Mama Bean, one of the many decidedly low skilled motherhood and parenting writers for HuffPo Fetish, posted this photo of her double jets breastfeeding friend Jessica then decried the shocking nature of the shocked respondents.

Breastfeeding my friend’s son came naturally to me. I started babysitting him when he was 5 months old and the first time she dropped him off to me I asked permission to nurse him, since I was already nursing my 3 month old. She responded with an enthusiastic yes, because he was having issues with the formula his previous sitter had been giving him. My friend struggled with breastfeeding in the beginning and succeeded for 9 months. She was always very happy that her son had the nutrition and comfort he needed while she was working. Being able to breastfeed her little boy has created a special bond between us all, a bond I will always cherish. — Jessica, the weird creepy mom in 4B

This is really all about you adults then, right? Planting your friend’s 18 month old on your tit and taking photos and inventing hashtags like #MilkSiblings? I’m guessing the kids didn’t ask for it. Sure, they clamor for your swollen tits. So would a couple 50-year old bikers off a long haul. There’s nothing inherently special about boys wanting to suckle on your breasts. It’s like fishing for retards with a Lite Brite clown face.

Mama Bean falls back on insisting how breastfeeding older children and children of your friends is completely nature in other parts of the world. By that, she means the third world where it’s done for primitive survival. Like drinking water out of rivers with dead Ebola bodies floating by. Or robbing USAID corn meal convoys to eat. The fact that malnourished tribeswomen in Malawi wet nurse communally is not any kind of organic stamp of approval in nations with indoor plumbing. You get some kind of Whole Foods white mother kick out of letting your son suck on your tit? Fine. Your friend wants to drop off her kid to tap your teat too. Fine. Just stop with the pictures. These kids are going to grow up someday and get their ass kicked for plenty of reasons related to what you’re doing now. Don’t make it worse by documenting it for the Internet.

Photo credit: Facebook