Nerds Microdosing

A report by Rolling Stone magazine which has the authenticity of your drunk uncle on this third Jim Beam and eggnog, claims that more and more Silicon Valley programmers are taking small doses of LSD to pick up their productivity in lieu of the traditional Diet Coke funnels and Minecraft banter. Adderall also has been a popular recreational drug in the Valley because self-diagnosing ADHD is less painful than looking in the mirror and realizing you’re just a super fucking annoying chatterbox. Techs on the tiny daily doses of acid or shrooms claim a renewed vigor with their work, creativity explosions, and a general sense of mental clarity. While coworkers describe their dosing peers as spacey fucks who you have to yell at four times before they hear you. There’s no scientific evidence to support the enhanced worker status of these illegal psychotropics, but Google is making them available in large bowls at the end of cubicle rows just in case. It’s a suggestion, not an order. As in, I suggest you drop some acid, Steve, or I will be ordered to fire you. This does explain why every game app has to do with shiny colored candy.

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