Tennis Boring And Rigged

Buzzfeed invested a shitload of money in a real news division to try and convince people they’re not just those guys who perfected the listicle you reluctantly clicked after your company blocked every interesting site on the Internet After millions in editorial upgrades they came up with the breaking news that a few unnamed tennis matches in 2007 may have been rigged. Players names and matches and level of competition have not been disclosed to protect the innocent or because Buzzfeed doesn’t really have them. Al Jazeera similarly broke their first big news story in the U.S.. Peyton Manning may be dirty with PEDs. So close, Al Jazeera. Sorry you lost your entire network.

The possibility of thrown tennis matches created ripples of pandemonium among British people who prepped at Eton. It appears some tennis players likely were involved in fixing matches, but all lower ranked players who could be bribed with Entertainment book coupons to Sea World. There isn’t a ton of money wagered on tennis. The very fake sounding Tennis Investigation Unit responded that it has the problem under control. I’m good with the TIU.

Tennis was the sport that your uncle made you watch to remind you white people really are the world’s dominant athletes. All you saw were two sweaty men grunting in tight shorts. It’s as if Grindr invented its own sporting event. Now it’s rigged. Can we once more relegate tennis to a summer pastime at the restricted country clubs? Golf, your next. Get your stupid hobbies off my sports channels.

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