Tila Tequila Needs A Fucking Sofa

Timeshares used to be the standard by which you could measure people’s fondness for really shitty investments. Now it’s buying a divan for Tila Tequila while she plans the earth’s defense against reptilian alien invaders. The former MySpace star turned porn star turned Messianic fan of the Third Reich got strangers to buy furniture for her new apartment on GoFundMe. Now who’s the stupid crazy one?

I have zero pride or ego when it comes to taking care of my daughter because this is what real good mother’s do.

Actually, really good mothers save their sex on camera money for a rainy day. And a crib so their daughter doesn’t have to sleep in a nest of styrofoam packing inserts from your replica Hitler statues. It’s hard to criticize a whore for begging when people with poor decision making skills keep tossing nickels into her vagina. Tequila has promised to call and personally thank every person who donated. When you assumed the $50 GoFundMe donor prize of ‘oral service’ was a blow job. There’s one of you born every minute.