Tinder Goes For Gold To Increase Your Dating Odds

Society tends to evolve with the times. It’s the simple fundamentals of survival. Tinder now wants to speed up the mating process. Or at least save you time in finding sloppy hook ups with their gold version of the app allowing you to see which women swiped right on you first. Isn’t technology great? Its made pursuing an interest in women face to face archaic and borderline obsolete. Archived events like your dad luring your mom in with ice cream and abstract conversation can now be only found in memories and museums. New breed of women, new rules. And new rules means finding new ways of getting laid. It’s not like you weren’t already checking the amount of likes on her social media feeds to find out if she puts out or not. Now with Tinder’s premium Gold version, your odds of understanding if she’s DTF just doubled. 

Tinder Gold had been in its Beta phase for the past month, and on Tuesday, it was officially released worldwide. The next day, Tinder was crowned the top grossing app on the App Store, meaning a lot of people splashed out that $4.99 in hopes of finally finding their soulmate, or at least somebody to hit it and quit it with. 

I love how apps have made it easy to browse women, browse Netflix, then browse the right class of Uber to send her home after. If she was bad in bed she can Uber pool it home. Nothing worse than being sent home at 2 a.m. and still having to make a subsequent out-of-the-way stop across town nowhere near your destination. Equal opportunity inconvenience. Extended her walk of shame for her poor performance. Two stars and tepid review for you young lady.