IT NEVER GOT WEIRD ENOUGH FOR ME

August 20, 2007 | celebrity | editor | 0 Comments

Well, folks, it's been real. But, as my father once said to me on his deathbed, you're a screwup and you'll never amount to anything.

Anyway, Brend0n will be back tomorrow, which is good news, because his posts are funnier, and they take way less reading on my part. Meanwhile, I'll be doing my movie thing on my very own, shiny new blog, FilmDrunk. As Brend0n said, it will be kinda like Ain't It Cool News, but less gay looking and written by someone who could kick Uwe Boll's ass. Seriously, I have supermodels clean specks of guys like Uwe Boll off the seat of my underpants. Tell him I'm coming for him.

So, I'll be seeing you all later – soon, I hope. In the meantime, you can find me at FilmDrunk's Myspace page (get on there, I can't let these webcam whores have more friends than me). Feel free to send me movie tips and/or naked pictures of yourself, should you happen to be an attractive and enlightened female like these English girls.

-Lance Martini

Tags: incredibly chiselled features

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