BARRON HILTON PLEADS NO CONTEST

Back in February, Barron Hilton – the younger brother of Paris and Nikki – was arrested for DUI.  His BAL was .14, almost twice the legal limit.  Actually, since Barron is 18, and 21 is the legal drinking age, even a .01 BAL is illegal.  He also had a fake ID and ran over an attendant at a Malibu gas station.  But since all of this happened in California, he will of course do no jail time.  People magazine says…

Barron pleaded no contest to driving under the influence Wednesday and was sentenced by a Malibu court to three years probation and was ordered to visit a morgue.Barron, 18, also pleaded no contest to having a fake ID. A second DUI count and a charge of being an unlicensed driver were dropped, the Los Angeles District Attorney's Office confirms.Barron was also sentenced to two alcohol education classes and had his license suspended for a year. He's due back in court on June 4 for a restitution hearing for the gas station employee's car he allegedly hit.

Let news of this judgment spread across the land.  Drunk drivers of California, you have been warned.  If you drive drunk, and almost kill countless others, you WILL go to a class and be inconvenienced for two, maybe even three hours.  Also, you will take a field trip to the morgue.  Mrs Dennison’s fourth grade class will also be there, and they will remember it as "totally boss and cool", but you will be forever haunted by your memories of the place where the Coke machine took your dollar.