Katie Holmes Won Tom Cruise With A Wife Audition

December 5, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

In addition to Katie Holmes auditioning for movie roles, she also had to audition to become Tom Cruise’s wife. It’s probably the only casting couch MeToo turned marriage on record. It must have been difficult for Katie to jump... READ MORE

Cardi B Skips Court Because She’s Famous

December 4, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Cardi B has clearly forgotten her roots after finding fame. The same woman who once had intoxicated men ever so eloquently lodge legal tender between her buttcheeks now thinks she’s too good to show up for court. Cardi B... READ MORE

Melissa Joan Hart Up For A Reboot And Being Really Naughty

December 3, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

When Melissa Joan Hart’s husband isn’t home to smell the scent of his lover wrapped in warm latex, he’s receiving dirty GIFs because normal sexting is so last season. Whatever happened to women sending pictures of themselves with whip... READ MORE

Amy Schumer Is Making Attire For The Bigger Woman

December 3, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

I’m not that deep. Usually when I get a gut feeling it means I have to fart. I’m not trying to find any hidden meanings behind the things certain celebrities do. If everyone was more straightforward, this world would... READ MORE

Megan Fox Is Making Archeology Great Again

December 1, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

My two biggest fears in life happen to be pooping in a public place before checking if there’s enough toilet paper and a Megan Fox come back. Both very shitty scenarios. I live life with low expectations. It’s the... READ MORE

Adam Levine Livid About Maroon 5’s Fall From Grace

November 29, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Maroon 5 is past their salad days and Adam Levine is looking for someone to blame. The band’s most recent music has a feature from Cardi B. Cardi B! And Adam actually has the audacity to wonder where the... READ MORE

Kit Harignton Allegedly Caught Naked And Unfaithful With Russian Model

November 29, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

It seems Kit Harington has a hard time keeping his hands to himself around Russian whores. He hasn’t been married to his ginger for a full year yet and he’s already rummaging through the rumps of bottom barrel reality... READ MORE

Catherine Zeta-Jones Has Faith That Michael Douglas Isn’t A MeToo Monster

November 28, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

They don’t make women anymore like they used to. Catherine Zeta-Jones is the last of a dying breed. She supported her husband after he was accused of being involved in some MeToo mischief. A woman that worked for Michael... READ MORE

Katherine Heigl Is 40 And Free

November 28, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Katherine Heigl turned 40 and is just a wee bit closer to being buried next to one of those unfortunate souls from her cemetery photoshoot. She’s seems to be taking the whole turning 40 thing in stride. But I... READ MORE

Lindsay Lohan Wants To Lick Rappers Now

November 27, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Career scumbag and professional lowlife Lindsay Lohan would like to adhere to the current low quality trend that she has going on at the moment. She needs a lover that would let her down at every opportunity. And what... READ MORE