Victoria Silvstedt Swimsuit Trolling At Eden Roc

May 23, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Every mid-May Victoria Silvstedt pushes pudding into the mouth of her older fat French benefactor by the Eden Roc hotel pool while keeping her eyes out for her next human IRA. At forty-one, Silvstedt is the Bartolo Colon of... READ MORE

Victoria Silvstedt Hungry Like the Wolf

May 16, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Cannes doesn't officially begin until Victoria Silvstedt shows up to the Eden Roc looking for her next big score. It's like watching the crocodiles surface as the gnu return to the watering hole each Spring with their young. If... READ MORE

Victoria Silvstedt in a Bikini

August 6, 2015 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

If form followed function, this is how all ATM machines would be designed. Your balance would indicate your ability to access which slots. Don’t be that dick who spends ten minutes pushing lots of buttons while there’s a line... READ MORE

Victoria Silvstedt in a Bikini

June 15, 2015 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

The most powerful force in the universe remains paid love. It’s like true love but without all the talking. Victoria Silvstedt is back with Maurice Dabbah, that pot bellied diminutive billionaire who owns a ton of shit you wish... READ MORE

Victoria Silvstedt Doesn’t Take Vacations

June 10, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

If you can see Victoria Silvstedt’s ass, she’s on the clock. The occupation of expensive trophy girlfriend has some kind of shelf life between NFL running back and Andy Cohen’s muscular bathing assistants. Not many are making it to... READ MORE

Victoria Silvstedt In A Bikini

January 12, 2015 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Corpses don’t last long in Caribbean waters with their warm currents and viscera-dissolving ecosystem. Even the bones become microbe encrusted bedding for coral and anemone in short order. But then Victoria Silvstedt knows this better than anyone. That look... READ MORE

Victoria Silvstedt in a Bikini

January 5, 2015 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Fuck, that tongue, that seaweed. Ursula has somebody trapped in her Swedish Santeria clutches. Somebody tracking the Victoria Silvstedt pings on the maritime emergency sonar should’ve warned St. Bart’s she was on her way from Miami. Now some poor... READ MORE

Victoria Silvstedt Tits Like a Lure

December 30, 2014 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

It’s like watching a bass master cast his line. Some unfortunate largemouth is about to be dinner. Victoria Silvstedt has that hook line and sinker routine going with her inflated everything. By the time you’ve surmised what it might... READ MORE

Victoria Silvstedt in a Bikini

November 18, 2014 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Victoria Silvstedt has been missing from public view since her immersion in a stasis tank filled with hep-c blockers and finely shredded paper currencies from the G8 nations. The murky colloid allows her skin to be rejuvenated and her... READ MORE

Victoria Silvstedt on the Hunt in Manhattan

September 22, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

You’ve got 300,000 people marching in New York City because a cyclist standing at the edge of Battery Park might get his Shimanos wet in 2147. Meanwhile Victoria Silvstedt is roaming the streets of Gotham this very day prepared... READ MORE