Lena Dunham Is A Psychiatrist And Shit Around The Web

By Jack October 15, 2014 @ 12:00 PM

457237126

Lena Dunham has once again made something she has nothing to do with all about her. She’s weighing in on the whole Amanda Bynes issue. Lena’s well versed in the psychiatric sciences since her naked lumpy character on Girls went crazy. I hope Amanda Bynes eats her.

Read Lena’s diagnosis and prescription for Amanda. (The Superficial)

This is Locas Diego and these are her chi-chis. (Drunken Stepfather)

Angela Ruiz sure knows how to wear fucking lingerie. (Hollywood Tuna)

Nadine Leopold and her freckle face are highly fappable in these lingerie pics. (Popoholic)

Jennifer Lawrence’s sham of a relationship to Coldplay is getting “serious”. (Dlisted)

Denise Schaefer eats the fuck out of a burger. (COED)

MMA Veronica Macedo is hot but she’ll kick your balls into your mouth. (Busted Coverage)

Amanda Bynes Returns to Rubber

By Lex October 13, 2014 @ 9:14 AM

Amanda-Bynes-Returns-to-LAX-with-Arm-Markings

When you’re crazy, there’s no such thing as down time. Over the weekend, Amanda Bynes recanted her child molestation charges, blamed her misguided allegations on a microchip placed in her head, and flew back to Los Angeles where she was tricked into a town car he thought was taking her to see a stage revue of cats dancing in Downton Abbey costumes but instead drove her straight into the gates of mental hospital lockdown. Wait, where is Lord Whiskers? Where the fuck is Lord Whiskers!!! That’s a dramatic reenactment.

Amanda is back on 5150 lockdown while her parents fight to get her named a ward once more so they can strap her down, rinse, lather, and repeat. Among the latest signs of Amanda’s return to the blurry side is the ancient Hebrew directions to the site of the Holy Grail lightly etched into her arms. It might also be her Grub Hub order. I’m certain there’s an amusing anecdote behind how it came to be.

There was a time in this country when we get the mentally ill permanently locked up in mad houses. Then Geraldo and his mustache ruined everything for the insane asylum industry. So we collectively determined letting people roam the streets self-medicating and talking to God was preferable to seeing them zombie walking in shit soiled gowns in between shock therapy. It would be awesome if complex social problems got better just by ignoring them. Of more immediate concern, somebody needs to throw Amanda Bynes car keys in the river.

Photo credit: FameFlynet

Amanda Bynes Accuses Dad of Incest

By Lex October 10, 2014 @ 9:23 AM

Amanda-Bynes-and-Her-Parents

Amanda Bynes latest string of off-her-meds Twitter rants includes her usual conspiracy charges against the media, some racial epithets, and one doozy of an accusation against her father for molesting her as a child. This is almost certainly an empty accusation from a not super smart Beautiful Mind picking up on the Stephen Collins story all over the news.  I can’t imagine how fucking horrific it is to be the dad of a bipolar daughter who starts stepping into the land of daddy raped me on her social media account followed by the entire world.

amanda-bynes-tweets-about-her-dad

I’m going to guess she somehow never caught him on tape as a child since she would have been 21 when the first video capture on cellphones became available in the U.S.. Rape allegations will never go out of style for those seeking attention, from the political to the downright insane. It’d be easy to think that maybe this girl is so super demented because of horrible things somebody did to her as a child. But she’s been unmedicated ranting for a few years now and this never came out before. I’m pretty comfortable feeling super shitty for mom and dad, even if they did whore her out to Hollywood at a young age. You probably don’t deserve this.

Photo credit: Getty Images

Amanda Bynes Is Kid Eating Crazy And Shit Around The Web

By Jack October 08, 2014 @ 12:00 PM

456755612

Amanda Bynes believes she has a microchip in her head and that people are monitoring her brain. That’s some level ten kind of crazy. Or is it?

Read all about the conspiracy to control Amanda’s mind. (The Superficial)

Lana Del Rey’s sister Chuck Grant is seriously fucking hot. (Huffington Post)

Rosie Jones’ tits in Zoo magazine will make you pop a chub. (Drunken Stepfather)

Camila Luddington wears only a blanket, steals my heart. (Hollywood Tuna)

Rachel Barnes wears a bikini like a fucking champ. (Popoholic)

Former Girls Gone Wild friendly guy Joe Francis now has two twin future sluts. (Dlisted)

More (legal) pics of scantily clad Jennifer Lawrence for Vanity Fair. (COED)

Amanda Bynes Is Engaged to Be Crazy

By Lex October 07, 2014 @ 12:02 PM

Amanda Bynes Is Showing Off Engagement Ring
Last year, Amanda Bynes fled criminal charges in NYC by moving back to LA. Now she’s trying out the opposite. New York has to be excited to have a battery-recharged Amanda Bynes back in town. Among her latest off-her-meds red semaphore flags are Amanda’s interview with InTouch magazine where she claims to be engaged to a teen in California who works at a bait shop:

I am very needy for friendship and I hate men. I want to fuck them, but I can now say I’m engaged — get away from me,. I want to be married and I want to be away from people.

That certainly sounds a lot like love. Or how it might be expressed by a majority of inmates of a female sanitarium. Amanda’s also back on Twitter which should work out well for at least one of her alter egos. She’s already announced that the tabloid media is out to get her, that she dropped out of Los Angeles fashion school because NYU and Columbia both insisted she fly to New York to be part of their educational experience, and then a bunch of trite slogans people like to Tweet in lieu of original thinking. If I’m Commissioner Gordon, I’m diverting at least half my manpower to tracking down Amanda Bynes. If you listen closely, you can actually hear the ticking clock.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, AKM-GSI, Twitter

Amanda Bynes Has Gone Rogue, Again

By Lex September 30, 2014 @ 3:38 PM

Amanda-Bynes-mom-and-dad

You know what’s thrice as likely to kill you than Ebola? Try Amanda Bynes off her psych meds and circling the city in her death beemer. Amanda’s anorexic parents said they thought she fled for New York after their conservatorship was lifted and only found out she was still local when they heard she was arrested for DUI in L.A. on Sunday. I guess that sort of defines the term cold comfort. Why they never reported their unhinged daughter was blasting like a schizo rocket back to New York to wreak havoc is still unexplained. It’s not like the scientists in Godzilla forgot to inform authorities that a 30-story nuclear charged reptile was headed for San Francisco. You’ve got some social responsibility to warn people about cataclysmic shit, even if deep down these two monsters are just well meaning sweethearts who got pushed into show business way too early.

Photo credit: PacificCoastNews