Amanda Bynes Sleeping in Malls and Shooting Selfies

By Lex November 07, 2014 @ 11:55 AM

Amanda Bynes Wears Sweatpants And Takes Selfies Outside A Restaurant Being street crazy isn’t the same in Hollywood. You grab a couple Z’s at the Beverly Center, throw back some vegan Mediterranean on The Strip, a few selfies to fancy up your bipolar Twitter rants, and it’s still only ten in the morning. Plenty of time to figure out how to get your hands on a set of wheels and plow into a school yard full of famous kids who have clearly kidnapped your dog.

Amanda Bynes parents are leaving town. Somebody had to give and old people can’t compete with young crazy. They’re taking ownership of Amanda’s bank accounts with them to Texas, leaving a hired hand in charge of keeping her from legally obtaining pills from Canadian or Mexican online pharmacies. Amanda gets $100 bucks a day in allowance, which isn’t enough to do anything spectacularly nutty, so she’s sticking to the watermelon balls and martyred Tweets about mysterious being foiled.

There’s really nothing to do now but listen to ACLU lectures the rights of the street crazy and wait for her to do something criminal. It’s too morbid to start laying out the possible scenarios, but just in case I’ve got a hundred on a trifecta of man-made tower, nakedness, and self-immolation.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

Amanda Bynes Pounding the Watermelon Like Crazy

By Lex November 03, 2014 @ 1:40 PM

Amanda Bynes Hides Her Face While Leaving Mels Diner LA
Amanda Bynes has been hitting up Mel’s Diner every afternoon for the past several days ordering nothing but bowls of cut up watermelon. That’s not even close to the oddest actress diet in the neighborhood, but when you’ve just been released from a psychiatric hold, people are going to notice the fruit thing. Amanda’s beleaguered parents just won the right to keep her conservatorship in place which means she can’t access her bank accounts or re-up pharmaceuticals without their permission. Also, they get to hang with Britney’s dad at the conservator conventions in Aspen. Amanda didn’t bother to show up to the hearing. The attorney she sent to represent her turned out to be an imaginary British barrister from the 19th century. It’s hard to see how Amanda doesn’t end up climbing somewhere dangerously high in the very near future. If you catch the whiff of watermelon, turn your eyes to the sky. It might just save your life.

Photo Credit: Splash

Lena Dunham Is A Psychiatrist And Shit Around The Web

By Jack October 15, 2014 @ 12:00 PM

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Lena Dunham has once again made something she has nothing to do with all about her. She’s weighing in on the whole Amanda Bynes issue. Lena’s well versed in the psychiatric sciences since her naked lumpy character on Girls went crazy. I hope Amanda Bynes eats her.

Read Lena’s diagnosis and prescription for Amanda. (The Superficial)

This is Locas Diego and these are her chi-chis. (Drunken Stepfather)

Angela Ruiz sure knows how to wear fucking lingerie. (Hollywood Tuna)

Nadine Leopold and her freckle face are highly fappable in these lingerie pics. (Popoholic)

Jennifer Lawrence’s sham of a relationship to Coldplay is getting “serious”. (Dlisted)

Denise Schaefer eats the fuck out of a burger. (COED)

MMA Veronica Macedo is hot but she’ll kick your balls into your mouth. (Busted Coverage)

Amanda Bynes Returns to Rubber

By Lex October 13, 2014 @ 9:14 AM

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When you’re crazy, there’s no such thing as down time. Over the weekend, Amanda Bynes recanted her child molestation charges, blamed her misguided allegations on a microchip placed in her head, and flew back to Los Angeles where she was tricked into a town car he thought was taking her to see a stage revue of cats dancing in Downton Abbey costumes but instead drove her straight into the gates of mental hospital lockdown. Wait, where is Lord Whiskers? Where the fuck is Lord Whiskers!!! That’s a dramatic reenactment.

Amanda is back on 5150 lockdown while her parents fight to get her named a ward once more so they can strap her down, rinse, lather, and repeat. Among the latest signs of Amanda’s return to the blurry side is the ancient Hebrew directions to the site of the Holy Grail lightly etched into her arms. It might also be her Grub Hub order. I’m certain there’s an amusing anecdote behind how it came to be.

There was a time in this country when we get the mentally ill permanently locked up in mad houses. Then Geraldo and his mustache ruined everything for the insane asylum industry. So we collectively determined letting people roam the streets self-medicating and talking to God was preferable to seeing them zombie walking in shit soiled gowns in between shock therapy. It would be awesome if complex social problems got better just by ignoring them. Of more immediate concern, somebody needs to throw Amanda Bynes car keys in the river.

Photo credit: FameFlynet

Amanda Bynes Accuses Dad of Incest

By Lex October 10, 2014 @ 9:23 AM

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Amanda Bynes latest string of off-her-meds Twitter rants includes her usual conspiracy charges against the media, some racial epithets, and one doozy of an accusation against her father for molesting her as a child. This is almost certainly an empty accusation from a not super smart Beautiful Mind picking up on the Stephen Collins story all over the news.  I can’t imagine how fucking horrific it is to be the dad of a bipolar daughter who starts stepping into the land of daddy raped me on her social media account followed by the entire world.

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I’m going to guess she somehow never caught him on tape as a child since she would have been 21 when the first video capture on cellphones became available in the U.S.. Rape allegations will never go out of style for those seeking attention, from the political to the downright insane. It’d be easy to think that maybe this girl is so super demented because of horrible things somebody did to her as a child. But she’s been unmedicated ranting for a few years now and this never came out before. I’m pretty comfortable feeling super shitty for mom and dad, even if they did whore her out to Hollywood at a young age. You probably don’t deserve this.

Photo credit: Getty Images

Amanda Bynes Is Kid Eating Crazy And Shit Around The Web

By Jack October 08, 2014 @ 12:00 PM

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Amanda Bynes believes she has a microchip in her head and that people are monitoring her brain. That’s some level ten kind of crazy. Or is it?

Read all about the conspiracy to control Amanda’s mind. (The Superficial)

Lana Del Rey’s sister Chuck Grant is seriously fucking hot. (Huffington Post)

Rosie Jones’ tits in Zoo magazine will make you pop a chub. (Drunken Stepfather)

Camila Luddington wears only a blanket, steals my heart. (Hollywood Tuna)

Rachel Barnes wears a bikini like a fucking champ. (Popoholic)

Former Girls Gone Wild friendly guy Joe Francis now has two twin future sluts. (Dlisted)

More (legal) pics of scantily clad Jennifer Lawrence for Vanity Fair. (COED)