By Lex September 30, 2014 @ 3:38 PM
You know what’s thrice as likely to kill you than Ebola? Try Amanda Bynes off her psych meds and circling the city in her death beemer. Amanda’s anorexic parents said they thought she fled for New York after their conservatorship was lifted and only found out she was still local when they heard she was arrested for DUI in L.A. on Sunday. I guess that sort of defines the term cold comfort. Why they never reported their unhinged daughter was blasting like a schizo rocket back to New York to wreak havoc is still unexplained. It’s not like the scientists in Godzilla forgot to inform authorities that a 30-story nuclear charged reptile was headed for San Francisco. You’ve got some social responsibility to warn people about cataclysmic shit, even if deep down these two monsters are just well meaning sweethearts who got pushed into show business way too early.
Photo credit: PacificCoastNews
By Lex September 29, 2014 @ 1:47 PM
Amanda Bynes got busted for driving under the influence of something stronger than Benadryl. This is kind of a bummer for all of us who were rooting for Amanda to make it clean through her probation and designing kick-ass t-shirts class at FIDM. You may recall that Amanda spent much of 2013 throwing cats out the window and lighting bongs on fire I might have that mixed up. Amanda walked away from those wacky adventures with some voluntary psych checks and a wet reckless charge which is a not-quite-DUI thing they made up for celebrities. Now they’ll have to make up something like super wet and dangerously reckless. Or just the Aguilera. Either way, Amanda, consider yourself on double secret probation.
By Travis May 16, 2014 @ 2:00 PM
We haven’t seen or heard much from Amanda Bynes since a judge ordered her crazy ass into professional therapy and rehab, and she was eventually released to her parents. That’s a good thing, obviously, because it means she wasn’t throwing bongs on the streets of New York City, lighting random driveways or her dog on fire, and stalking Drake so she could cut his dick off and wear it as her crown in her private country of Crazybitchylvania. Yesterday she Tweeted a new photo of her with her sister, Jillian Joyce, who looks like she should be way more important than just being known as the girl standing next to the insane woman. It’s nice to see Amanda smiling and all, but no one should fall for this. There’s still crazy behind those eyes, and it’s just waiting to strike once we’ve all let our guards down.
By Lex April 28, 2014 @ 12:43 PM
You can lose your license for speeding, but apparently DUI and a couple hit and runs and some mental illness holds for lighting dogs on fire in psychotic rants in strangers driveways means you’re good to hit the road. Remember when we as a nation decided we’d had enough with drunk driving deaths and MADD and SADD and maybe even GLAAD and NAMBLA got together and we all made rightfully Draconian measures against DUI, except we carved out an exception for troubled former childhood stars and their parents? That seems like just yesterday. I forgot the Lohan Bynes Hilton exception, but there it is. Technically, Amanda Bynes doesn’t have a DUI on her record because prosecutors agreed to drop that charge in exchange for three years probation. But, yeah, she was still driving drunk and sideswiping cops. She could’ve lost her license forever, but zero days just seemed more prudent from the judges who hate to be all judgy. If she kills somebody I know, I’m going to be super pissed.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI
By Travis April 10, 2014 @ 9:00 AM
Deep down inside, it felt pretty good and relieving to know that Amanda Bynes had received professional medical help and was on the road to being a better, happier person again. It’s always fun to watch a celebrity have a breakdown in the public eye, bogged down by the pressures of being wealthy and famous, but it was also sad to see that nobody really gave a shit about Amanda, at least enough to step in and demand that she get help. And if you disagree with that and think it’s fun to watch a ship completely sink to the bottom, good news, because Amanda’s mom has taken her off her medication, according to TMZ, and she thinks that marijuana was her daughter’s only problem.
Sure, there’s documented proof that Amanda suffers from schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, but Mama Bynes knows better than a couple dozen quacks with pieces of paper framed on their walls. It wasn’t a deep, frightening mental health issue that caused Amanda to completely spiral out of control and try to set her dog on fire. It was weed. Congrats in advance to Amanda’s mom on her Parent of the Year award.
Photo Credit: Getty