guests are arriving for the Jessica Biel / Justin Timberlake wedding

By brendon October 18, 2012 @ 12:05 PM

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It seems almost certain now that Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake will get married in Ravello, Italy, at some point in the next few days, as guests (including Andy Samberg) began to arrive in Naples yesterday. They even had a big party on the beach with a massive fireworks display, so I included pictures of that in case you don’t know what fireworks are. You’re welcome.

Does anyone understand this

By brendon September 19, 2011 @ 12:52 PM

With the help of Michael Bolton and Akon, The Lonely Island did a montage of their 3 nominated songs last night during the Emmy awards, and fuck you ‘Family Guy’. This is all your fault. Somehow you’ve convinced people that just doing random shit is the same as a joke, and it’s not, and I fucking hate you for it. I can only imagine how annoyed I’d be if I had actually watched this crap instead of football, and then squealing with delight as Mike Vick spit up blood. Hehehe. Nice pocket awareness, dipshit.

MARK WAHLBERG STILL SUCKS

By brendon October 21, 2008 @ 10:09 AM

People are giving Mark Wahlberg lots of credit for going on Saturday Night Live this week and being cool about the impression Andy Samberg did of him the week before. I give him credit for the ability to stare directly at his cue cards and step on other peoples lines. What a gifted actor! What range, what emotion! He’s like a young Brando, this one is. All this really proves is that Samberg is a more convincing Mark Wahlberg than the real life Mark Wahlberg. 

MARK WAHLBERG IS A LITTLE BITCH

By brendon October 17, 2008 @ 7:41 AM

Mark Wahlberg was on the great Jimmy Kimmel show (I heart Jimmy Kimmel) last night, and Jimmy asked him about the impression Andy Samberg did of him on SNL last week.  Suffice to say, Mark was the joyless little bitch he always is.  The pretend tough guy said he was gonna, "crack that big fuckin nose of his (Sambergs) … I don’t play that shit … I’m gonna fly to New York tomorrow and slap him in that big nose."

Whatever.  He's not gonna do shit.  This is what happens when people kiss your ass all day.  I’m sure Mark is the toughest guy getting a laser peel after his Pilates class, but in the real world he’s 35 inches tall and hasn’t been in a fight since 1987.  My dick is bigger than Mark Wahlberg.  Even if he somehow doubled in size overnight, he could still walk through my dog door.  Ooooohhh, scary.