MICHAEL J. FOX - will be given an honorary doctorate in Sweden because he’s raised $175M to find new drugs to treat Parkinsons. Preferably drugs that don’t need to be injected so he doesn’t bleed to death before he can even see if it works. (the AP)
ANGELINA JOLIE - had an affair with Mick Jagger in 1997, when she was 21 and he was 53. Then again in 2003. This is according to a new biography on Jolie called, “Things I Made Up To Sell More Books”. (daily mail)
KATE GOSSELIN - showed off her new look at a party last night in New York to promote her appearance on ‘Dancing With The Stars’. Meanwhile, 2 of her 8 kids have regressed back to a feral, or “wolf-like”, state after being left alone in the woods of Pennsylvania for this long. (huffington post)
LINDSAY LOHAN - is dating guys again, specifically UK DJ Gareth Geno. Has the troubled starlet finally found “the one”? Will this new romance kick-start her once promising career? Just so you know if you answered either one of those I fucking hate you. (mirror)
No not really. But because Angelina Jolie took Billy Bob Thornton from Laura Dern when they worked on ‘Pushing Tin’ and Brad Pitt from Jennifer Ani-chin when they made ‘Mr. And Mrs Smith’, and now she’s making ‘the Tourist’ with Johnny Depp, you can expect some version of this story for the next three months. And that it will hurt Liev Schreibers feelings. “Hey I’m married, why didn’t anyone think she was gonna sleep with me?”
Johnny Depp’s longtime gal pal has no intention of joining the trail of brokenhearted Hollywood ladies left crying to Oprah Winfrey after Angelina Jolie stole their men.
So when Vanessa Paradis found out (Depp) and Jolie were to shoot a passionate love scene in their new movie “The Tourist,” she ordered Depp to find another gig.
“He’s currently trying to [get out of the movie], but I don’t know if he’s succeeded. But he’s trying and they’re talking about replacing him with Brad Pitt or Leonardo DiCaprio.”
Jolie is too PR smart for this, and by all accounts Depp is a very good guy so this whole thing is dumb. And he definitely won’t make the first move. In real life he anguishes over every word. “Um, yes, uh hey Angelina. I was wondering, uh, if you would care to, um, join me in, you know, uh, sexual … inter-intercourse.”
(image source = inf daily)
The next few months are gonna suck because Angelina Jolie is in Paris filming ‘The Tourist’, and next week her co-star Johnny Depp is expected to arrive to begin their scenes together. So we can all look forward to endless tabloid stories about them doin it. Not that I would blame him of course. She’s fantastic looking. Any guy who can be in close contact with her for more than a few minutes without trying to slam his penis into her when she’s not looking is either gay or a martian or more likely a gay martian.
BRAD PITT AND ANGELINA JOLIE - were photographed makin out in Paris on the set of her new movie. Perhaps all part of their intricate plan to trick the media into thinking they’re still together, which is apparently crucial for some reason that no one has ever bothered to explain. (just jared)
BONER - from ‘Growing Pains’ was last seen in Vancouver 10 days ago, and this morning his dad from ‘Star Trek’ asked for the public’s help. I bet this goes really well. “Chief we just got a tip from Mr. Hugh G. Rection saying Boner has gone limp on the corner of Imfuckin and Yomama. Should I send paramedics?” (people)
CHARLIE SHEEN - has entered a rehab for addiction to alcohol and cocaine. Let’s hope he get’s the help he needs. Everyone deserves a four-thousandth chance. (radar)
ROB ZOMBIE - is directing an episode of ‘CSI: Miami’, and this is the preview for it. Like every other episode of this dumb show, it looks like a complete piece of shit, but this one is Rob Zombier. (foundry)
AUSTRALIAN GIRLS - are fucking terrific. I don’t even know what Sophie Turner does, but she’s doing an amazing job at it. Whatever the championship trophy is called in her field, it should be renamed in her honor. (pacific coast)
ANGELINA JOLIE - has been estranged from her father Jon Voight for almost a decade, but he was in Venice this weekend spending time with her and Brad Pitt and their army of kids. Also this weekend, I put my dick in a milkshake. Coincidence? (msnbc)
THE HURT LOCKER - ran over ‘Avatar’ at this weekends British Film Awards. Both were nominated for 8 awards, ‘Hurt’ won 6, including Best Picture and Best Director. James Camerons movie about outer space kitty cats under attack may be a longshot to win the Academy Award now, unless they let dogs vote or something. (fox news)
VOTE FOR A TYLER READER - Technically I don’t care if gay people can get married because I’m not gay and I only care about me. I do however hate the government telling everyone what they can and can’t do, so in that sense gay people should be able to get married because, why can’t they just leave everyone alone. Go build a bullet train between LA and Vegas if you have so much spare time on your hands. Plus gay guys can’t have kids and I hate kids. What a utopia this world would be if more guys were gay. So that’s why I voted for Mikey in this wedding contest thing after he emailed me. So I can get my bullet train, and because my neighbor has two little kids who stand outside and scream all fucking day. The End. (vote)
HOLLY MADISON - attended the premiere of the new Cirque du Soleil show in Vegas. At least that’s what it said in my police report after I pulled down her dress. (NSFW pics under the cut. source = playboy and wenn)
AXL ROSE - made a very rare public appearance and played a secret show this weekend in New York. Unfortunately the only guy who filmed it had never heard of a camera before, and no one told him what they were or how they worked. (foundry)
LEONARDO DICAPRIO - is not engaged to supermodel Bar Refaeli, despite some reports saying he is. He should settle down and get married. Finally see what everyone is raving about. (pop eater)
BRAD PITT AND QUENTIN TARANTINO - really love weed, but not while they work, so they didn’t smoke any while filming ‘Inglorious Basterds’. They tried, but the result was the first 45 minutes of the movie showing Brad asking if anyone ever noticed that cats have grandparents, and then everyone else agreeing that this was totally fucked up. (daily news)
BRAD PITT AND ANGELINA JOLIE - are in Venice, Italy today, holding hands and smiling while getting ice cream with Maddox, Pax, Zahara and Shiloh, who was dressed in a little bear cub (monkey?) hat. If these pictures were any more wholesome, they would be listed by the government as a source of calcium. (fame and inf)
