It’s been mentioned before, but Nicole Kidman was originally cast and even did some filming as Brad Pitts wife in ‘Mr. and Mrs. Smith’. Then she got hurt, dropped out, Catherine Zeta Jones said no, and Angelina Jolie was cast.
‘Salt’ was written for a male lead and was about to film with Tom Cruise as the star before he had to drop out. Then Angelina said she would do it, and the producers pretended not to stare at her tits as they squealed with delight.
The point to this is that Hollywood is run by fuckin retards. Even though this bootleg ‘Salt’ trailer is in Russian, Jolie is perfect. Kidman would have sucked as Mrs. Smith. You don’t need to be a spy to kick her ass, you just need to be a sunny day. Tom Cruise is 30 inches tall. You could just throw a blanket over him, or take his gun and put it on the top shelf. Angelina however probably could kick my ass, mostly because I would cum in my pants while we were wrestling.
This would normally sound like a story that a tabloid simply made up, but in this case it’s about Jennifer Aniston crying over Brad Pitt, so really all bets are off.
Jennifer Aniston drunk-dialed Brad Pitt, and got the shock of her life when Angelina Jolie answered.
Jen was home alone in her sprawling Beverly Hills mansion in late September when she dialed Brad after downing a few glasses of white wine.
When Jen heard Angie’s voice, she freaked out.”
Flustered, Jen launched into a blistering attack on Angelina, said the insider.
“Jen basically told Angie that she hated her, but Angelina fired back!”
The Enquirer includes a picture of Aniston on a cell phone. Just like the one used in the story perhaps. Coincidence? Well, I mean, yes probably, but still, that chick is a damn loser so yeah, she did this. She totally did this.
The Sun UK breathlessly announced today that ‘Gia’, the HBO movie starring Angelina Jolie as 70’s supermodel Gia Carangi, is being remastered and released in HD. This is noteworthy because ‘Gia’ is the movie where Angelina walks around naked constantly and has sex with other girls, namely Elizabeth Mitchell from ‘Lost’. So unloved perverts pretending they’re the ones that a fully naked Angelina is begging not to leave after a night of hot sex is a thing of the past, or will be as soon as my copy arrives.
While walking the red carpet Monday night for the Hollywood premier of “Inglorious Basterds”, Angelina Jolie talked a little about how much she loves gettin it on, and how she and Brad Pitt seek out new and different places to stick it to her. The Sun UK says…
ANGELINA JOLIE and BRAD PITT have opened up about their sex life again - saying they get intimate in LOTS of different places.
Last week Brad revealed that a secret grotto behind the waterfall in their pool was “a great place for sex”.
But Angie revealed that it was just one of many.
“We’ve got a few special places, you know? You keep it going.”
Brad laughingly added: “”There is an old Hollywood property just a few minutes away. It has a grotto there. The rumour is Jimi Hendrix spent some time there.”
I have no idea what the hell they’re talking about, but whatever. Whenever and wherever she wants to have sex would be fine with me. A waterfall, a grotto or a cage filled with lions - the answer is “yes”. Crime scene? Hospital? Morgue? Yes. Yes. Yes. She could just gesture to a graveyard as we drove by and I would dig up the recently dead and use them to prop up her ass if that’s what she wanted. Who cares, just as long as I get to hump her.
Last night was the much anticipated Hollywood premiere of Brad Pitts “Inglorious Basterds”, and jesus christ Angelina Jolie is still the hottest piece of ass on the planet and it’s not even close. And I’ve officially had it with all the dumb rumors of their imminent demise. Look at the way she looks at him. Why would she fake this? It’s not like she gains anything by pretending to date someone. I can’t even get my girlfriend to make me a fuckin sandwich, much less put on a tight leather dress and pretend to fawn all over me.
The Quentin Tarantino / Brad Pitt WWII movie “Inglourious Basterds” had it’s Berlin premiere yesterday, and that’s not just an unfortunate picture of Pitt at the after-party up top. OK! says he and beer were there until around 2am. Your liver turns black if you drink too much. Maybe if he keeps going Angelina will adopt it.
