Anna Faris is under professional pressure to be more of the glamorous type Hollywood star. She’s refusing to ditch her sweatpants and makeup free look, leaving her reps to gently remind her that she’s not nailing down gigs because she’s the next Dame Judy Dench. If you thought women running Hollywood was going to mean less pressure to show off your tits and ass, think again. Ellen just got a sitcom featuring Elisha Cuthbert and Kelly Brook as a couple ordinary relatable girls. Women will rape women for cash in ways men couldn’t even conceive in their linear minds. Anna says none of the pressure gets to her because she relies on her husband Chris Pratt to make her feel sexy:
He makes me feel really beautiful even when I’m feeling disgusting. I’ll be in boxer shorts and a grubby T-shirt with greasy hair, and he’ll still be like, “Whoa, honey. Whoaaa.
First of all, props to Chris Pratt for how much sex he’s probably getting form his good looking wife with his whoa, honey lines. However, this remains a horrible idea. Counting on random strangers and vets down at the local watering hole to make you feel wanted is a plan. Those guys will cat call you until the end of days. Counting on the man who smells your shit every day for years on end and has other beautiful women constantly trying to nail him, that’s finite. Grownups shouldn’t get their life hacks from fairy tales. Now put on something slinky and find yourself a politician to worship your toes. Feeling long term beautiful requires a Plan B.
‘Movie 43’ is actually 25 short films, so it’s not really a movie, or the number 43, but it stars essentially everyone with a SAG card, including Halle Berry, Emma Stone, Anna Faris, Hugh Jackman, Kate Winslet, Naomi Watts, Chloë Grace Moretz, Gerard Butler as a leprechaun, Stephen Merchant, Kate Bosworth and Elizabeth Banks, and they all do horrible things. Except for Emma Stone sucking off a hobo disguised as a wizard. If Kieran Culkin has a better plan to get magic beans, I’d love to hear it. It’s easy to sit back and criticize after the fact Kieran.
(clip might be nsfw due to a brief clip of tits and naomi watts calling her son a fuckface among other things. your call.)
Anna Faris attended the LA premiere of What’s Your Number last night, which makes sense because she’s the star of it. As well she should be because she’s fantastic. I have no idea how but she’s still underrated as a comedic actress. Cameron Diaz and Jennifer Aniston are put in comedies yet all those dummies do is read words off a page. They add nothing. It’s literally nothing more than a joke was written down, and now they’re gonna say it out loud. Every Cameron Diaz movie could be made a billion times better if they simply cut to shots of the script during her scenes and let me read her part myself.
Anna Faris is really really hot and really really funny, and by all accounts she’s one of the nicest people in Hollywood, which is why I’ve always said that she simply couldn’t be any more likable. But then she did get more likable by taking all her clothes off and running around naked, thus making me look like quite the fool. Touché Anna Faris.
(WARNING – these pictures, shot last night in Boston on the set of ‘What’s My Number’, also feature Chris Evans, and he’s naked too. While I’m a big Chris Evans fan because ‘Push’ and ‘Sunshine’ were really good movies that he was excellent in, and there was no better choice to play Captain America, I’m not a fan to the extent where I enjoy seeing his naked ass. So I clumsily photoshopped him out whenever I could, but you need to brace yourself when you get to the final 3 pictures.)
Anna Faris is really really hot and really really funny, and yet what you’re looking at in these pictures is her with her new husband after they eloped in Hawaii this weekend. I think the lesson to be learned is, if you see a girl you think is hot, ask her out. Just go for it man. Because girls are fuckin weird. They will absolutely have sex with guys who aren’t even remotely in their league. Much of my sex life has depended on that. The rest has been based on pity and rags soaked in ether.