A homeless woman named Jo Anne Vandegriff came up with an interesting way to get a pitch meeting : suing Amanda Bynes. The wannabe TV producer wasn’t having any luck getting a meeting at Disney to pitch her Civil War romance series, you know, because she’s a fucking crazy homeless woman without a condescending prick of an agent. So, she figured that the best way to get everyone she wanted to pitch to in the same room was to sue them. Amanda Bynes, Armie Hammer, Halle Berry, and Disney were all invited via subpoena to listen to her delightful tale of antebellum love. Why the fuck she thought the Lone Ranger, Catwoman, and carpet glue licking Amanda Bynes would be interested in her crazy shit is unknown. The case will probably be thrown out before she gets to pitch. But you have to wonder if her idea could be any worse than the shit that’s already on TV. I hear these kinds of crazy fucking rants homeless people spew and some of them would make great TV. One guy yelled out to a subway car I was in the other day, “The government is trying to control my brain with a radio in my dick.” I’d watch that show.
It’s been a few months since we got to see Helena Bonham Carter act opposite Johnny Depp in a funny outfit, so here’s the first trailer for ‘The Lone Ranger: A History of Trains in America and Their Impact on the Old West’ (HD here).
As Depp reminds us (while speaking traditional Hollywood Movie Indian language. Which is just english but where the cadence stabs every word and makes him sound mildly retarded), “There come a time, kemosabe. When. Good. Man. Must. Wear. Mask.” There’s also a time to wear a zydeco washboard and bird for a hat, and that time is “always”.
Mega-Producer Jerry Bruckheimer has a twitter apparently, and this morning he posted the first look at Armie Hammer as Dan Reid and Johnny Depp as Tonto in ‘the Lone Ranger’, though if they wanted to call this a bio-pic about WCW superstar Sting or a very literal remake of ‘The Crow’, that would probably work too.