Katy Perry Didn’t Get Plastic Surgery Except When She did

January 22, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

The wokest former pop princess in all the land Katy Perry spilled the hot goss to progressive feminist website Refinery 29 on everything from “Why she’s giving lip gloss a second chance” to “What she learned from having a pixie (haircut.)” Not making those things up. From what I understand Refinery 29 is like Lenny Letter […]

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Scarlett Johansson Word Slaps James Franco At Women’s March

January 22, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Slam alert. This weekend Scarlett Johansson took to the stage at the Los Angeles Women’s March to share words of inspiration with hundreds of thousands of women uniting to fight inequality and underrepresentation, but more importantly, she took the opportunity to SLAM the h8ers! Well, one h8er in particular, James Franco. Obsessing over a man […]

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Kardashians Play Never Have I Ever For Calvin Klein Ad

January 22, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Never have I ever inspired the look for the lead character in the Disney classic Beauty and the Beast. Khloé you’re out silly billy. Before we get into this new komercial for Calvin Klein featuring the Jenndashian brothel playing a fun lobotomized version of the game “never have I ever,” let’s just give props for body inclusivity. Twenty years ago […]

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Blind Item: A-List Singer About To Be Dropped By Record Label

January 19, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Speaking of singers, this A list singer, who is probably headed towards permanent A list status soon is in real danger of getting dropped by her record company. Despite her popularity, no one is buying her records. Her most recent one was a bomb. She spent way too much time partying and traveling the globe and the results show it.

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Adam Levine Almost Pooped Pants While Wife Gave Birth

January 19, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Maroon 5 frontman and all around sexy lesbian Adam Levine had the bowel-movements like Jagger while his wife was in labor with his daughter back in 2016. He shared this baby book-worthy family memory during his appearance last night on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, where Levine further explained that his experience of almost dropping a load […]

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Ryan Dorsey Domestic Battery Charges Against Naya Rivera Dismissed

January 19, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Living away from Appalachia for too long has left me nostalgic for the white hot trailer park goss of my high school years, but thankfully dented trashcan Naya Rivera and her knockoff Jesse Pinkerton Ryan Dorsey, the father to her two-year-old son, are here to bring the warm fuzzies. Rivera was arrested in West Virginia over […]

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Lorde Has Throbbing “Chasm That Opens And it’s Never Going To Close”

January 19, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Yeah baby open that throbbing chasm. If you mostly know the Kiwi singer Lorde for her chart-topping music, then feel free to share all of your Tumblr Jack Skellington fan art in the comments below. If not, my hope is that you best know her as the singer who allegedly porked beautiful strong woman Jack […]

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The Jig Is Finally Up With Prince William’s Dome

January 18, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

It’s been thirty-five-years in the making, but Prince William has now, for the first time, officially buzzed his head, and the Internet is eating up every failed follicle on his bald dome. If The Crown has taught me anything it’s that the Royal Family doesn’t have a hell of a lot going on, and randomly that Matt […]

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#MeToo Trademarked Makeup Could Be On The Way

January 18, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

The #MeThree! movement was officially laid to rest when Aziz Ansari’s anonymous sexual assault accuser detailed events in her EXPOSÉ that occur in about nine out of ten dates nationwide. Bari Weiss even wrote in The New York Times that the encounter reads as nothing more than  “bad sex.” Just look at Ansari. It was going to […]

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Ellen Pompeo On Weinstein: I Batted “The S*** Out Of My Eyelashes”

January 17, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

I was once told that the actors who really have it figured out are the ones that nab spots on long-running television shows. By not having to jet set from project to project, they can settle their asses down, have kids, and basically mimic the lives of nobodies, morning commute and all. Except they get […]

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