Jennifer Connelly in A Bikini

Remember all those politically elitist rants from Jennifer Connelly this past year? All those gender pay gap myth screeds? The announcing of lesbian and gender experimentation and the death to penis signs in seminal pro-Muslim refugee marches in Prada flats? She seems to... read more

Eugenie Bouchard Unexpected Haters

Life is good for Eugenie Bouchard. She's ranked forty-fourth in women's tennis behind forty two other women and Serena Williams who mocks them all from from her testosterone castle. She's young, she's pretty, she looks pretty sweet in her touched up Sports Illustrated... read more

Charlotte McKinney Swimsuit Tits Seem So Simple

After a series of tormented lectures from editors and models alikeat Sports Illustrated on body acceptance, Charlotte McKinney is a breath of fresh air.She has enormous tits, she's hoisting a thong and she's not saying a word. The Nobel Committee has prizes in all the... read more

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Kate Upton and Sports Illustrated Reunited

Shamelessly frame this as a bold faced promo. Fifty-one weeks a year it's okay to mock Sports Illustrated for lacking sports and focusing entirely on illustrated. A simple name change to Airbrushed Titties in Paradise would solve the truth in advertising issue while... read more

Girls Making Their Own Breaks, It's Fucking Beautiful

America is fast becoming a nation of whiners. Ironically, the most vulnerable persons among us, young skinny white models, get up every day, shut their mouths, and show off their tits and ass in public to catch a break. That's called gumption. Also something else if that... read more

It's Good to Be Christie Brinkley's Better Looking Daughter

It's impossible not to see a lineup of offspring from a certain family and start picking out the one that is not like the others. Every family has their Eric Trump. What the fuck happened there? When a signature supermodel starts making babies with multiple daddies it's... read more

Rumer Willis Got a Job

This is one of those things that you heard a few months ago maybe but didn't sink it that it could be true. Rumer Willis got a job. It's a big moment for thrice remarried parents when their kid gets her first paycheck. Even if she's now twenty-eight. read more

Violinist and Porn Star Finally Settle Urine Drinking Lawsuit

In a game of deciding who the world needs more, a crossoverGerman violinist known for his brash playing style, or a second tier porn star who hooks on the side, you have to go porn star hooker.Low rent sex is our birthright. Also, there's no such thing as a crossover... read more

Kelly Bensimon in A Bikini

There's no SIC code in particular for lifestyle advisor, faux celebrity book author, and costume jewelry seller, but it certainly seems to be the lucrative business of many women previously married to relatively well known men. read more

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Anastasia Ashley in A Bikini

Surfing is considered a sport by many who surf. Also, guys who want to bang girls who surf. This is different than football or basketball which nobody calls a hobby and not merely because of the contract values. read more

Heidi Klum in A Bikini

Heidi Klum's fond of hitting her hotel balcony after she fucks her significantly younger boyfriend. She pretends he is an artist of some measure. Whatever gets you through. We've all been there. read more

Australian Golfer Anna Rawson Seems Pretty Tight

The threshold for female athletic accomplishments as a cheat to show off cheesecake photos is pretty low. Anna Kournikova made an entire early stage career out of the same simple standard. Her latter stage career is boning Enrique Iglesias. read more