Brett Ratner masturbates with shrimp

By brendon November 04, 2011 @ 12:53 PM

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You know how you’ll hear Hollywood stories about skeezy directors who use their status to get young girls to sleep with them? Well for the last 10 years most of those stories have been about Brett Ratner (this tub of shit), who somehow still gets jobs (like producing this years Oscar telecast) despite the fact the he’s never made a movie that was anything but awful.

For example:

In Olivia Munn’s memoir, “Suck It, Wonder Woman!: The Misadventures of a Hollywood Geek,” the far-too-intimate details of a short relationship with a bigwig Hollywood director are amongst many tales she recalled from her early days in Hollywood. Details such as seeing, “a grown man in an oversized shirt holding his undersized manhood in hands glistening with shrimp fat.”
On Thursday, Ratner came clean, saying that he was that bigwig director, but denied ever having such glistening, self-pleasuring hands.
“I used to date Olivia Munn, I’ll be honest with everyone here. But when she was ‘Lisa.’ She wasn’t Asian back then,” he said. “She was hanging out on my set of ‘After the Sunset,’ I banged her a few times, but I forgot her. Because she changed her name. I didn’t know it was the same person and so when she auditioned for me for a TV show, I forgot her, she got pissed off, and so she made up all these stories about me eating shrimp and masturbating in my trailer. And she talked about my shortcomings.”

To be honest the only issue I have here is that his movies suck and he doesn’t deserve to nail hot young girls. If this were Scorsese, he could fist a girl while holding a conch shell for all I care.

(image source of Munn on the set of ‘Magic Mike’ = inf)

‘Tower Heist’ will not be on-demand, will be terrible

By brendon October 12, 2011 @ 3:48 PM

Because this sort of thing seems inevitable, Universal had planned to offer ‘Tower Heist’, the new movie from horrible director Brett Ratner, in select markets as an on-demand for $60, just three weeks after it had ben released in theaters on November 4th. But now the threat of a boycott from theater owners has killed that plan, meaning everyone will just have to not see ‘Tower Heist’ the old fashioned way.

(source = variety)

somethin for the ladies…

By brendon December 28, 2009 @ 4:35 PM

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Dimwitted pervert Brett Ratner is on St Barths today with some unknown daredevil who presumably lets him fumble around on top of her, and for her sake I hope she isn’t using any cocoa butter stuff on that tight young body of hers. You don’t want butter flavored skin when you’re trapped on a boat with one of natures purest sources of fat and stomachs.

(source = fame images)

ACTORS ARE ANNOYING

By brendon February 02, 2007 @ 10:40 AM

The New York Post has a series of set reports today documenting how insufferable the "talent" can be on a movie set, starting with Chris Tucker, who cant be bothered to come out of his trailer on the set of "Rush Hour 3".  A source says:

"He won't come out of his trailer until the script is up to his standards.  What, $25 million isn't enough to just do your job and act?"

Brett Ratner, the tubby hack director of Rush Hour, has once again been using his position to get laid.  Page Six says:

Ratner "sends an assistant named Scott around to every female extra, collecting phone numbers in a too obvious, not-so-suave way.  Scott commands these $150-a-day actress-hopefuls to give him their phone numbers simply because 'the director wants it.' "

Across town, Lindsay Lohan has been torturing everyone on set with her usual drama and theatrics:

…ever since she went to the Wonderland clinic, she's been "moody and is making everyone miserable around her. She'll be late and sometimes won't come out of her trailer."  Lohan is being trailed by a "sober coach" as well as an entourage.

And what would a post about jackasses in Hollywood be without anti-Semite Paris Hilton, now filming the direct to VHS “The Hottie and the Nottie."   When she shows up at all she’s routinely late and then cant remember her lines.  A source says:

"Everyone is really fed up with her right now."

Wait, the Rush Hour movies have a script?  You've got to be kidding me.  I thought it was just Jackie Chan fighting 6 guys while holding a priceless vase and Tucker screaming "what if the President was black!"