Thick girls playing paddle ball hold a special place in my heart. It’s every memory of every successful beach hookup ever. The guys used to hang on the hood of Greased Lightning begging me to tell them summer tales of the chubby chick who invited me back to her place for Arby’s Sandwiches and nookie. Then I’d punch them in the nuts for being super gay. That always felt ironic. I could’ve gone for a girl like this with a billion dollar retail inheritance in her future. Every hundred million is like losing an inch on the waistline.
I’d be lying if I didn’t say I find rich girls more attractive than poor girls. Yeah, being the bread winner for a struggling-to-pay-her-rent girl is a chivalrous dream. But I’ll take the life of leisure only a girl whose daddy is worth a billion dollars can provide. Granted, the broke girl won’t yell at you as much. And she’s probably going to be better in bed. She might actually act grateful when you do shit for her and leave you alone about going out with your buddies. Fuck it, now that I think about it, I’ll take the broke girl. Wait, what???
Here’s Topshop heiress Chloe Green in a bikini. She’s lost weight since she started banging pedophile looking Marc Anthony. Instead of binding corsets, women should consider banging pedophile looking Marc Anthony.
Marc Anthony probably got sick to shit of seeing Jennifer Lopez having sex with, and buying Range Rovers for, her 20-something gay backup dancer So he decided to top her by picking up 22-year old Chloe Green, the chunky big boobed heiress to the British Topshop clothing store fortune, and he took her to Disneyland with him and the kids to show JLo that he was both banging a girl half his age and also letting that same chick take care of JLo’s kids.
Marc Anthony might be a weasel-faced skinny bitch looking man-boy with a Megan’s Law mustache, but this was a power FU.