Trial Set For Dave Chappelle’s Banana Assailant

By Matt July 28, 2015 @ 6:26 AM

Englander

Hipsters and racists are both awful to be around and take a lot from society without giving back, but rarely can one douche check both boxes. Christian Englander threw a banana peel at Dave Chapelle while he was performing in New Mexico last year and has been charged with disturbing the peace and battery, because this was a super big banana. Englander either doesn’t understand the symbolism involved or is being coy, and pretending that throwing a banana peel at a black dude who happens to be obsessed with racism lacks any racist overtones:

“If I can, I would like to avoid a trial. I’m not afraid of the end result, but it’s a waste of human resources. There are real criminals out there they can try.” 

Even assholes occasionally make a good point or two. Englander had taken some dour hipster cunt to the show as his date and as Chappelle was performing she was sitting in the front row drawing in a sketchbook. When Chappelle noticed this and started making fun of them, Englander got pissed and the banana was thrown. I don’t know what’s worse, bringing a banana to a show for the purpose of making a racist statement, or bringing a banana to eat at a comedy show. Either way, completely unacceptable but I’d expect no less from a guy who brings a knitting wheel into Starbucks. Chapelle went to the police station after the show to confront Englander but unfortunately didn’t kill him and was more than likely tasered into a coma. Englander is guilty. Of this and so much more. Please don’t have kids.

Photo Credit: Facebook 

Dave Chappelle Is Still Jacked

By Travis September 10, 2013 @ 11:00 AM

Dave Chappelle recently walked off stage at a festival in Hartford, Connecticut, where he was the headlining act, because he said some “young, white alcoholics” were heckling him from the crowd. He even went as far as to say that he hopes that if North Korea ever bombs the U.S. that they choose Hartford as the target. And while people are all up in arms because a comedian said something controversial, I can’t help but wonder what kind of douchebag would talk shit to a guy who looks like this.

And this is just Dave hanging outside of his hotel in New York City yesterday. I can’t imagine what he looks like up on a stage with a light on him. I’d probably piss my pants a little and throw my wallet at him if he yelled at me.

(Photo Credits: TNYF/WENN.com)

Dave Chappelle Wanted To Pull “Reverse Kramer”

By Jack September 05, 2013 @ 1:52 PM

Comic genius and crazy motherfucker Dave Chappelle had some choice words for the town of Hartford, CT…namely that he hopes it is destroyed by nuclear weapons. It all started when Chappelle played a show there last week as a part of his big comeback tour. A bunch of drunk frat types started heckling him. Chappelle said he wouldn’t go on with the show until they stopped. When they didn’t, he sat out his time quietly and then walked off the stage then reflected a week later…

“I wanted to pull a reverse Kramer and call them all crackers or something crazy like that…I don’t want anything bad to happen to the United States, but if North Korea ever drops a nuclear bomb on this country, I swear to God I hope it lands in Hartford, Connecticut.”

This seems about right to me. Heckling a live stage performer should be punished by death. I don’t care if they’re shitty, or if they’re Chappelle. It’s like blasting off an air-horn behind a hi-rise construction worker to see if you can get him to lose his balance. It’s not cool in any form or fashion. You want attention, get your ass up on the stage and take a shot. Yeah, a nuclear blast seems harsh, but we are talking about Hartford, and based on the prevailing easterly winds, maybe we lose a little Rhode Island too. We’ll be fine.