Edward Norton Finds Even Bigger Dick and Hurts His Finger

By Lex April 25, 2013 @ 4:00 PM


Edward Norton crossed paths with an even bigger dick than himself yesterday and had to bust the dude’s finger up. That’s just how Edward Norton rolls. It’s primal.

Alain Becerra-Calderon (that dude just sounds like a dick) was quite innocently pestering the shit out of Edward Norton with his cell phone camera as the douchy actor was just trying to get down the street to go do something serious and important. But Alain just kept on bugging Ed about looking like a dick just like him and trying to take his picture. So, Ed Norton had to grab the guy’s cell phone, with authority and conviction. Now Alain’s got a ’tissue contusion’ of the middle finger. He knows because he took himself to a hospital after the incident. No idea who to root for in this one.

Wednesday headlines, with naked Daisy Lowe

By brendon July 13, 2011 @ 4:13 PM

ED NORTON – is in talks to play the villain opposite Jeremy Renner in ‘the Bourne Legacy’, the new run of Jason Bourne movies that don’t have Jason Bourne in them. I would just call them Harry Potter movies, since apparently you can just call your movie whatever the hell you want these days. (vulture)

SHERLOCK HOLMES: A GAME OF SHADOWS – premiered it’s first trailer today, and you’ll be happy to see it’s got plenty of fighting and explosions. It’s Sherlock Holmes after all. Ya gotta have explosions. (apple)

TED DANSON – will be the new boss on ‘C.S.I.’, replacing Laurence Fishburne. Remember when Danson was in ‘Saving Private Ryan’? What the fuck was that all about? (la times)

DAISY LOWE – is gonna be in Playboy. It’s not really a stretch for Daisy (who you may remember is Gavin Rossdales 22-year-old daughter) because she’s a model who has already posed naked for two magazines. And also for the hidden camera I set up in her bathroom when I pretended to be the plumber. (daily mail. this would be a good time to follow me on twitter. hint hint. )

“THE HULK” IS IN TROUBLE

By brendon March 12, 2008 @ 10:21 AM

It seems pretty remarkable that "The Incredible Hulk" opens in just 12 weeks, yet no one has seen any good footage or pictures or even a real damn poster. The movie cost 150 million dollars, yet Universal doesn't seem to be promoting it at all. Why would that be? Maybe because the movie has real problems right now, mostly Ed Norton, who once again is thinking he's way more talented than he really is. The fantastic website Deadline Hollywood says:

Norton and Marvel are clashing over how to cut the pic. Insiders say Norton was "promised tremendous involvement and access" after Marvel invited him into the core team to rewrite Zak Penn's script. Says one insider, "There's a lot of posturing going on between Edward's camp and Marvel over how you edit the final version." Sources also tell me that, starting last night and continuing at least throughout today, the actor will be holed up with Marvel Studios chairman David Maisel, Marvel Studios president of production Kevin Feige, and director Louis Leterrier to try to "reach an amicable resolution" to this $150+ million film feud.

Ed Norton is an idiot. I think. He mumbles almost always and I can never understand anything the fuck he says so maybe he's really fantastic and I just don't know it. The only time he's coherent or believable is when he's yelling or has some showy actor-y crutch and that shit is easy. The Ed Norton school of acting is just, "ooh, look at me, I'm blind, I'm looking 6 inches to the left of you, because I'm blind. Where's that cup? I don't know, I'm blind, let me feel around for it." Or, "duh, I'm a retard. See, my fork has a cork on the end and my polo shirt is buttoned all the way up. And the third button is in the hole for the second button, making it askew. Because retards don't understand buttons." This guy is a jackass. Everyone knows Zak Penn wrote this script yet Norton says he did. Just because he changed it doesn't mean he wrote it. I could draw big tits on the Mona Lisa, that doesn't mean I can say I painted the Mona Lisa. I just made that shit hot.