Edward Norton Finds Even Bigger Dick and Hurts His Finger

By Lex April 25, 2013 @ 4:00 PM

Edward Norton crossed paths with an even bigger dick than himself yesterday and had to bust the dude’s finger up. That’s just how Edward Norton rolls. It’s primal.

Alain Becerra-Calderon (that dude just sounds like a dick) was quite innocently pestering the shit out of Edward Norton with his cell phone camera as the douchy actor was just trying to get down the street to go do something serious and important. But Alain just kept on bugging Ed about looking like a dick just like him and trying to take his picture. So, Ed Norton had to grab the guy’s cell phone, with authority and conviction. Now Alain’s got a ’tissue contusion’ of the middle finger. He knows because he took himself to a hospital after the incident. No idea who to root for in this one.

(6) Comments

  1. avatar
    Pogue65 04/25/2013 16:48

    You have to side with Ed. Fight Club!!!!!!

  2. avatar
    rickyroma25 04/25/2013 17:07

    I’m not rooting for you to get a full-time writing position, that’s for sure.

    Learn how to construct a sentence for phuck’s sake

  3. avatar
    fellsa 04/25/2013 17:29

    Isn’t contusion just a fancy word for bruise? Pretty tough to be on the side of anyone who would go to the hospital for a bruise.

  4. avatar
    Cybergy 04/25/2013 20:00

    rickyroma – that’s the funniest shit I’ve read here in weeks! Lex actually IS Ed Norton.
    Seriously though, I think we need to do a telethon to raise money for Brendon’s new site.

  5. avatar
    Shortshanks 04/26/2013 17:38

    Stick a middle finger up a Ed Norton’s butt….and it’s bound to get contused……..and the owner ends up “confused”….

  6. avatar
    Shortshanks 04/26/2013 17:38


    ….I’m with you on ALL counts…

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